Ep #180: Discover Your Parenting Village: Transform Chaos into Calm

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to today’s episode. I want to start today with an important message for you, to you, and it’s this. I see you, and I know you are doing the very best you can. I salute you, and I applaud you, and I’m rooting for you.

Today, I want to spend our time together talking about support. Support as a tool that helps you stay regulated. If you’re a long-time listener, you know that we’ve declared together 2024 as the year of self-regulation. With this year’s theme in mind, I am committed to bringing you as many tools, support, and ideas that I possibly can to help you improve your self-regulation when parenting your kids.

What I absolutely know for sure from the bottom of my heart is that the more regulated you are when things go wrong, when your kids don’t do what you ask them or they storm, the more you can help guide, support, and teach them. This is critical. The more storming they are, the more regulated I want you to be.

The best way to provide that support to your kids is, drumroll please, da-da-da-da-da-da-da, to have support yourself. Now, consider this for a minute. Just take in what I’m about to say. The inspiration for this episode came from a post I recently saw on Instagram from Scary Mommy. It said it takes a village to raise a kid. She’s very funny if you haven’t seen her Instagram account. It’s worth a look.

Her post said they tell you about the village that’s supposed to support you while you’re raising kids. But for some of us, that village doesn’t exist. If you’re a mom still searching for your village, you’re not alone. We will get through this. But in the meantime, know that you’re doing great things with or without the village.

Well, real world peaceful parents, I am here today to tell you all about your village, and this support that is waiting for you. Yes, you. You. I agree with Scary Mommy. You are doing great. Absolutely. But imagine doing even better with the village and not just a village, any old village, but a village designed to cheer you on, hold you accountable, and walk the walk with you. Imagine that for a second.

Now, when Scary Mommy posted this on Instagram, many parents, many expressed in the comments a desire for a safe place to ask questions, learn, and get support without judgment. They wrote about a desire to have a space to celebrate success and feel seen and heard. Are you like, yeah, Lisa, I can relate to that. I’d like to have that too.

They shared a desire for a safe place to not be judged and ask questions, a safe place to learn what to expect developmentally from your kids, a safe place to learn how to regulate your central nervous system, especially while parenting through a storm. A safe place to get support, a safe place to learn and grow, a safe place to celebrate the successes, big and small, a place to vent safely and feel, seen, heard and valued, even in the most difficult moments.

Are you looking for this support either consciously or subconsciously? Ask yourself that question, and answer it honestly. What I know from experience of being a parent coach for over 15 years is that one of the best forms of support comes from joining a village, also known as a membership community.

I want to tell you why I’m such a big fan of support in the form of membership. Tony Robbins famously says, knowledge isn’t power. The application of the knowledge is the power that creates the change. Transformation, folks, comes from the application of the knowledge. One of the best ways that I know from personal experience to take that knowledge and apply it is with coaching in community.

All the knowledge in the world doesn’t help you move from react to pause and respond. You can read every parent book ever published. It doesn’t help you stay regulated when your kid is melting down an aisle six of Target, storming because he can’t have a cookie, or fighting nonstop with his, her, or their siblings because it doesn’t support you in creating the new habits.

Here’s how the brain works. Knowledge and content informs. It becomes powerful when put into action when you apply the content. You have to apply the content. Applying the content is what creates the new habit and the transformation.

Said another way, when you use the information or the content in a very specific way through coaching, boom, the magic happens. The transformation happens, and you get on the path to permanent peaceful parenting. You get on the path from react to pause and respond.

Here’s the other great thing that happens. When you join a community, you witness others getting coached. This opens doors for your own aha-moments. Boom, magic. Members often say, I needed to hear that and thank others for sharing their experience. I’m telling you, it’s magic. It happens over and over and over again. As a result, the entire community grows.

A rising tide lifts all boats. When you’re part of a community and the tide is rising, your boat gets lifted along with everyone else’s. Each and every person. Not just the people on the live call, but also those listening to the recording the next day, the next week, the next month. Magic, I tell you.

Our village meets on Zoom. During the calls, the chat feature lights up with love and support for the parents sharing tender moments. I mean, think about that. Can you imagine coming to a completely safe place, not worried about any judgment, and feel like you can share tender moments with the community and receive not only coaching and help changing your habits, but love and support from like-minded parents?

It’s magic, I tell you. It’s magic. Because this kind of support deepens your learning increases your self-worth, and strengthens the application of the knowledge. All of that leads to quicker, stronger, and a more permanent transformation, which I like to call magic.

Sounds amazing, right? Well, listen, I want this for you. Yes, you. Because I know what is possible for you. Imagine having a village that is a totally safe place. Here is what I know with 100% certainty. Having led my own village for many years now and having been a part of many villages, many communities, a safe place can provide you with a place to turn when you’re overwhelmed. A place to feel seen and heard. A place to feel like you belong. Yes, you. Even if you’ve never had that experience before.

A place to share your success stories, big and little, and feel fully celebrated. A place to get supportive resources. A place to feel safe while venting and sharing your struggles. A place to be cared for in whatever way you need, in your own unique way, with your own unique family. Oh, so good, right? I mean, just imagine that for a second.

Now, as I was preparing to record today’s episode, I saw another Instagram post that said I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child. Do they just show up, or is there a number to call? I know, this is meant to be funny and provide us all with some relief. But let me ask you, are you like yeah, it’s funny and true. Oh, the irony? I’m asking myself the same thing. Yeah, what is that number that I call?

Well, there is no phone number to call, and Ghostbusters can’t help on this one but I can. I’m here to help you. In today’s episode, I have only one intention, and that is to give you, yes you, a personal invitation to join your village.

Studies show that if you have people cheering you on, holding you accountable, and walking the walk with you, you’re much more likely to make positive changes. I mean, that makes sense, right?

Now, think about this. Can you think of a time in your life where you had support? I’m talking real honest, fulfilling, life-changing support. If you’re a no, I get it. Some of you have not had the opportunity to have a safe village in your life thus far. I get it.

Today, with one small act and commitment, that can all change. If you are a yes to that question, then you know the power, the power, of people cheering you on, holding you accountable, and walking the walk with you, right? Okay, whether you are a yes or a no, well, either way, there is no better time to experience support than right now. Right now, and no better place to join than The Hive.

Okay, I want you to close your eyes for a moment if you’re not driving, and I want you to imagine you having a safe place where you always have access to expert guidance, where any parenting anxiety and guilt melt away, where you feel the love and connection with your child growing stronger each and every day. Imagine that. Imagine knowing that you are not alone and that your people are cheering you on, holding you accountable, and walking the walk with you.

Are you thinking wow, that’s kind of hard to imagine, or that would be amazing? I get it, but this is the moment. This is your time, and here’s what I want you to hear. The Hive is a one-of-its-kind village that serves parents from all around the world who want ongoing support with their parenting at a ridiculously reasonable price.

The Hive enables you to have a parent coach, that’s me, in your back pocket at all times and get all your questions answered while feeling fully supported by your village of like-minded parents. The Hive is not an online group of parents showcasing their social media perfect parenting. Not about that at all. It’s not a feed of inspirational quotes and empty cliches that change nothing.

Although the quotes and cliches are funny and often help us blow off steam, they don’t create transformation and lasting change. What does? The Hive. The Hive is your village that helps you make small steps in your parenting journey that will bring you exponentially closer to deep connection you’ve always wanted with your kids and get maximum cooperation from them at the same time. All while knowing you are not alone, you have people cheering you on, holding you accountable, and walking the walk with you. Let that soak in for a moment.

Okay, wait a minute, Lisa. So you’re telling me that you’re going to coach me, I’m going to make small steps in my journey that are going to bring me closer to feeling deeply connected to my kids while getting cooperation from them, while knowing I’m not alone, have people cheering me on, holding me accountable, and walking the walk? Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying. That is exactly what we do inside The Hive, day in and day out.

So if you’re ready to join your village, I want you to go to thehivecoaching.com or click on the link in the notes to learn more and join. Don’t wait, join right now. Your village called, and we’re waiting for you. I can’t wait to welcome you into the community where you’re never alone, always supported, and do your best work as a parent. Your village is here, and we’re waiting for you. So don’t delay. All right, until we meet again, I’m wishing you a village and peaceful parenting.

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon.