Ep #173: How to End the Cycle of Yelling at Your Kids

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to today’s episode, it’s a pleasure to have you join me for a special episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting. Today, we’re going to dive into a topic that hits close to home for many of us, the challenges and frustrations of parenting in a world filled with hectic schedules, constant demands, and the ever present temptation to resort to yelling and conflict.

But fear not because today isn’t about dwelling on those challenges. It’s about recognizing them, addressing them head on, and finding a better path forward. So grab a cozy seat, take a deep breath, and get ready to embark on a journey towards more peaceful and cooperative parenting.

You know I love asking you questions. So let me ask you, do you sometimes get frustrated with your kids? Are you sometimes frazzled while trying to get in the car in the mornings to go to school and work or trying to get to soccer practice on time? Now, if I know you, and I think I do, I imagine you don’t want to yell, you really don’t. But sometimes your brain tells you or sometimes it seems that yelling is the only thing that works. Am I right?

If we dive a layer deeper, and you’re honest with yourself, you feel stuck in the cycle of using yelling, fighting, threatening, and ever increasing punishments to get your kids to comply. I know it’s not pretty, but sometimes it literally feels like the only thing that works.

Or here’s an even more important question. Are you ready to end the arguing and fighting over simple things in your home, and be done with this forever before we get to summer break in North America? If you’re anything like the parent I used to be, you wish there was a way to deal with unacceptable behavior from your kids without sounding like your mother or breaking your child’s spirit. If you were yes to some of these, any of these, or all of these, I want you to know that I can relate.

Let me tell you about how I went from an angry mom to a peaceful parent more than 15 years ago. Now I’m going to be totally honest with you. It’s been a long time since I was trapped in this cycle, but it’s still hard for me to talk about it. But it’s important because I really want you to know that I’ve stood where you are frustrated, yelling, feeling like a failure, and still not getting your kids to do what you want them to do.

I used to yell at my son, Malcolm, on the regular multiple times a day. Then one day, my strong willed, full context sport son yelled back. The truth hit me hard. I was perpetuating a cycle of anger and frustration that had been passed down from my parents. At that moment, with Malcolm only six years old, I feared for our future. Because in that moment, it was clear to me that if we continue down this path, we’d only grow further apart. I’d never get to experience that connection with him that I so deeply craved.

So determined to break this cycle and raise a cooperative, strong willed child that I felt connected to, I dove into research, searching for a different way than how I was parented. I was, I admit, desperate to break the generational cycle of yelling in my family and raise my son with different tools.

But here’s the rub, until I made a decision to figure out how to yell less, until I sought help and support and new tools, we were stuck in that ending cycle of yelling in our home. Are you on the edge of your seat? Are you like okay, Lisa, tell me, show me, help me end the cycle of yelling in our home. Well, I’m going to, and I promise you, it’s completely possible.

Through my journey, which I talk a lot about here on the podcast, I’ve gained not just strategies but a profound understanding deep in my gut of what it takes to stop the yelling cycle and start connecting with your kids. I discovered a different approach that is going to move you away from domination and empty threats and into peaceful parenting.

This method is about partnership. It’s about guiding your kid towards positive decisions through understanding and collaboration rather than command and control, which I think we both know doesn’t work or you wouldn’t be here right now. Does this sound familiar? Are you stuck in this battle over wills? Power struggling, yelling, threatening, and punishing with your kids? Or do you long to have the tools to get your kids to cooperate without yelling, threats, and punishing?

Well if you’re a heck yes, Lisa, then I want to personally invite you. Yes, you, right now, to say goodbye to yelling in three simple steps. Yes, I did say that out loud. I did declare it, and I 100% know it’s possible for you. You can say goodbye to yelling in your parenting in three simple steps.

Now these exact steps that I’m going to show you are the same ones I used to transform from an angry controlling mom who was constantly upset, bewildered, and fighting with my son and husband into a calm, confident, connected leader in my home. If you accept the invitation to join me in my upcoming free Yell Less Workshop, you too can stop feeling guilty about your parenting and use my three steps to stop yelling at your kids while getting maximum cooperation from them.

There’s a way to enjoy parenting and, not or but and, and get your kids to cooperate more without yelling, threatening, or punishing. I will share with you the three easy steps to get your kids to cooperate more than they are right now without you yelling. These are the same three steps that changed everything for me over 15 years ago and have since helped thousands of parents around the world move away from yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids while gaining more cooperation in the home. They can do the same for you.

So let’s talk about three steps. Step one, is we’re going to pause the yelling cycle. I’m going to teach you how to identify and pause in those escalating moments. Together, we’re going to play detective and spot those moments when we end up yelling or getting really angry and frustrated with our kids. My unique approach will help you hit pause and collect yourself so that you can respond rather than react, so that you can collect yourself before you lose your shares or feel like you’re going crazy. Sounds amazing, right?

Then we’re going to move on to step two, which is where I’m going to teach you to get curious, not furious. Step two is all about helping you address the misbehavior, the mistakes, the storms with a calmness and clarity. I promise you, I’m not here to turn you into a permissive parent. Kids want rules. Rules help kids know what is expected, feel safe, and feel loved.

So we are going to address the misbehavior with our kids. I’m just going to show you how to do it with a calmness and clarity. While there’s no magic wand to change your child’s behavior, there is a way to open up a new path to get them to cooperate after you’re connected with them. In this free class, I’m going to show you how to do that.

It is exactly how I replaced yelling, threatening and punishing Malcolm and moved into getting him to do things the first time when he was asked. It was a massive transformation in my home. It happened almost overnight. I want that for you too.

Then we’re going to move into step three, which is my favorite parent with ease. I mean, can you imagine that? Imagine if one month from now you are parenting your kids, even your most strong willed and defiant one, with ease. Step three, I’m going to show you how to get cooperation from your kids without yelling, threatening, or punishing. It’s possible I promise you. I know you may not believe it right now, but I’m going to show you exactly how to do that.

When you get more cooperation and less yelling, you’ll get more time to build a strong bond with your kids and change the direction of your family. Break the generational patterns that might have been going on for a really long time.

Now here’s what I know. Breaking the yelling cycle isn’t just about fixing what’s wrong. It’s about being the parent you’ve always wanted to be and seeing your child shine. What I know for sure is that if you give me 90 minutes and join me for this free workshop, at the end of it you will be on your way to parenting with ease.

Now during our 90 minutes together, I will break down each step for you. I’m going to tell you exactly what to do. I’m going to give you examples of how to apply each new step and walk you through the script with your kids so you can feel confident and be successful all without yelling. Just so I’m crystal clear, this works is for you.

This personal invitation right now for me to you is for you if you are a mom or a dad, if you’re a single parent, if you’re a working parent, if you’re a stay at home parent, if you’re a step parent, if you’re a grandparent, if you’re a foster parent, if you’re an adopted parent, if you’re a divorced parent, if you’re co-parenting in different locations, if you’re an aunt or uncle, if you’re an adult child raising your siblings, if you’re a caregiver, if you’re the parent of multiples.

If you have children with big age gaps, if you’re the parent of toddlers or tweens or teens, if you’re the parent with kids in college, if you’re the parent of adult children living at home, if you’re the parent of children with special needs, if you’re the parent of children with disabilities, if you’re the parent of children with ADHD, if you’re the parent of twice exceptional children, if you’re part of a military family, if you live in a multi-generational household, if you’re a multicultural family, if you’re a blended family, if you’re an LGBTQ family, if you’re a parent in a high conflict custody situation, this workshop is for you. I want you to hear my personal invitation to you right now to come and join me.

I also want to tell you about Kathy. Kathy’s apparent just like you navigating the ups and downs with her two strong willed young boys. When I met Kathy, she admitted she was stuck in his cycle of frustration, unsure how to break through to her oldest son without constantly resorting to yelling, which she said never feels good. The relationship with her and her younger son and with her and her partner was suffering as a result of Kathy’s constant yelling, threatening, and punishing.

Now if you can relate to this, and you’re in the survival state of parenting, like Kathy was right now, I got you. When Kathy started using the three easy steps to get kids to cooperate without yelling, threatening, or punishing, she was able to pause some of the daily fights about screentime and getting ready for school.

After teaching her these three steps, Kathy said I feel more in control and at peace with my parenting skills. I finally feel like I’m communicating with my son better. I’m really proud of the lack of yelling in my house right now. Kathy had a massive transformation just by putting these three steps to work in her parenting.

After being a master certified parent coach for 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of parents who started out just like Kathy, frustrated, overwhelmed, and desperate for a solution that would help them raise their children without yelling, threatening, and harsh punishments.

So close your eyes as long as you’re not driving and imagine this for a moment. Imagine if, after working with me in these 90 minutes, your daughter puts her shoes on regularly and you only have to ask once. Imagine the homework is done before dinner without anyone threatening or yelling at each other. Imagine in your home sibling fighting is an all-time low. Your kids are learning how to handle conflict between themselves kindly and patiently without anybody yelling.

Imagine the twins know that Xbox is off at 8:00 p.m., and they turn it off themselves without throwing a fit. Imagine your kids stick to the evening routine. backpacks are packed and ready to go for school in the morning before bedtime. Imagine your teenage son coming out of his room on the regular to talk with you about his life. Imagine your entire family following the screentime rules that you set up without you having to yell, threaten, or take things away. Imagine you enjoying your time with your family and no longer looking for extra errands to run to escape your kids in your home.

I want that for you. I want that for all of us. I’ve been on both sides of this. What I can tell you is getting your kids to cooperate without yelling and threaten and punishing feels absolutely amazing. I want that for you. I’m going to break down these exact three steps that have worked for me, Kathy, and thousands of others in my free Yell Less Workshop.

So if you feel ready to join me and learn these three steps, if you feel ready to imagine parenting with ease then I want you right now to click on the link in the show notes or go over to thepeacefulparent.com/masterclass and get yourself signed up. This is an invitation to take the first step towards a brighter parenting journey. I cannot wait to work with you.

Make sure you sign up. Come one, come all, and invite a friend. Classes like this are always more enjoyable if you invite someone to join you. So grab a friend and invite them to come along to the master class. If you don’t have someone that you want to join you, don’t worry. While we are together, we will create an incredible community during our time together. You will leave not only with the three easy steps to get your kids to cooperate without yelling, threatening, or punishing, but you will know that you are not alone. You will see that everything I share is 100% doable that day, I promise.

Now as we wrap up today’s episode, I want to leave you with this. Parenting is a journey filled with twists and turns and unexpected challenges. But it’s also a journey filled with moments of growth, connection, and profound joy.

Just like Kathy who transformed her relationship with her children and reclaimed her sense of peace, you too have the power to rewrite your parenting story. You too have the power to parent with ease. By embracing the three simple steps we’ve discussed today and that I will share more during the workshop, you can create a home filled with cooperation, understanding, and love.

So if you’re ready to say goodbye to yelling and hello to a more peaceful parenting journey, I invite you to join us for my free Yell Less Workshop. Together let’s take the first step to you parenting with ease. Sign up at thepeacefulparent.com/masterclass. Let’s embark on this journey together. Not sure if you can make it? RSVP anyway, and we’ll send you the recording after the class. Again, don’t wait. Sign up right now at thepeacefulparent.com/masterclass. I’ll see you there.

Thank you so much for listening today. I want to personally invite you to head over to thepeacefulparent.com/welcome and sign up for my free peaceful parenting minicourse. You’ll find everything you need to get started on the path to peaceful parenting just waiting for you over there at www.thepeacefulparent.com/welcome. I can’t wait for you to get started.

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon.