Ep #44: How to Keep Calm and Parent On During The Holidays

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to today’s episode. I know I say this every week, but I really am super excited to be with you here today. I want to talk to you today about how to increase the chance of being the parent you’ve always wanted to be. Attention getting? Are you like, “What? Wait a minute, Lisa. Say that again?”

Okay. Today’s episode is all about increasing the chance or the probability or the guarantee of being the parent you’ve always wanted to be. Yep. We’ve all got room for improvement. My guess is if you’re coming here week in and week out, listening sporadically, a devoted follower, or tuning in for the first time, you’re doing it with the intention of increasing the peaceful parenting. Increasing the connection with your kids. Decreasing the chaos. Increasing the cooperation.

I want to tell you today, I’m so excited about this. I want to tell you how you can increase the chance of being the parent you’ve always wanted to be. So let’s dig in.

So here’s what I know. When it comes to parenting, most of us don’t always feel like we know exactly what we’re doing, right. There was no manual handed out. There’s no roadmap. There’s no app that we can follow. Do this then this, right. Parenting is something we all want to be great at. I know you do. You wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be taking the time to listen to this podcast if you don’t want to be great at parenting.

If you’re like I used to be, there are times when you feel like you’re doing it all wrong. That can lead to feelings of loneliness, sadness. You can feel full of guilt and shame.

Yeah, I know. I know. I talk to parents every single day that feel that way. Every single day. I want you to know you’re not alone. You’re not broken. It’s never too late to get on the path to peaceful parenting and there is hope.

Recently I came across this really cool bit of information from the American Society of Training and Development. Yep, there is such a thing. The American Society of Training and Development. They spent time calculating, very carefully calculating, the probability of completing a goal.

You’re probably thinking, “What does this have to do with peaceful parenting Lisa?” But hang with me here because this is real world peaceful parenting. We try to take real world stuff and apply it to our peaceful parenting. So hang with me.

Here’s what the American Society of Training and Development found. They found that you have a 10% chance of completing a goal when you have an idea around the goal. An example of this might be I would like to parent differently, but I have no idea how to do this. Okay? This is the beginning of the awakening.

Then they found that you have a 50% chance of completing a goal when you have a plan for how to do it. An example of this might be I will show up every week and listen to the latest episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting and hope I learn something and hope it helps. This is the DIY do it yourself zone, and for some it works. For most of us it isn’t enough effort, investment, or commitment to effect change let alone long lasting change.

Now check this out. The American Society of Training and Development also found that you have a 65% chance, right. The numbers are going up here. We went from 10 to 50 to 65. You have a 65% chance of completing a goal when you commit to someone or have them hold you accountable.

So maybe you and your best friend agree to listen to this podcast every week and you talk about it. Or you and your coparent both listen to it, and you talk about the tool, and you decide to commit and hold each other accountable. So that increases your chance to 65% of completing a goal.

Now here’s the great news. They also found that you have a 95% probability of completing a goal when you have a specific accountability appointment with a person you’re committed to. A specific time, a specific location with a specific person. You have a 95% chance of completing the goal.

This is what a great coach does with clients who are ready. We hold you accountable at a specific time with specific things we work on. This would be you and me focusing on you and your goals, focusing on your family, focusing on transforming your parenting. I’m coaching you. I’m supporting you. I’m holding you accountable. I’m helping you overcome obstacles and celebrating your successes. This is what great coaches do.

I’m there to stretch you so you can show up and have big shifts in your parenting. So you can achieve the transformation that you dream about. I take a stand for your long term lasting results so you can put your struggles around parenting behind you once and for all and enjoy deep connection with your kids.

Let me just let you take that in for a moment. What would that be like for you? What would that be like for you to have someone coaching you, supporting you, holding you accountable, helping you overcome obstacles, and celebrating your successes? Right? It would be amazing.

Are you at a place where you can even imagine what that would feel like? Is that what you desire for yourself and your kids? Do you feel ready to proactively pursue the change you want? Maybe you’re thinking, “Lisa, how do I know if I’m ready?” All right. Let’s break that down.

You’re ready if you’re tired of the way things are going in your house. You’re ready if you want to be on the same page with your coparent while parenting. You’re ready for change if you lay in bed at night and worry about where this is all headed. You’re ready if you find yourself angry all the time while parenting and maybe not even sure why. You’re ready if you desperately want to feel confident and calm even when things aren’t going well with your kids. Yes, that is totally possible.

I think simply put you want something more for you, your kids, your entire family. I want that for you. I want that for each and every one of you. I know you want it too or you wouldn’t be here.

Now anytime we’re going to be held accountable and we’re going to make a change, it’s an investment. An investment of your energy. It requires a commitment. It requires at least a small amount of hope. You can feel ready, scared, and excited all rolled into one. I’ve felt this many, many times. Ready, scared, and excited all rolled into when I’ve been on the principle of something new and exciting.

Now I’m the first to admit that coaching isn’t for everyone. It only works for those who are ready and willing to own their responsibility and influence the outcome they want for themselves and their families by showing up and doing the work. So check in with yourself. Do you feel ready to show up and do the work? If the answer is yes then I want to extend a personal invitation to you.

What I know is that we are about to head into the “holidays” around the world, no matter what holiday you celebrate. The holidays can be one of the most stressful times of the year for you personally, in your relationships, at work if you’re getting ready to close the year, within your extended family, and most importantly within your parenting.  It can be one of the most stressful times of the year.

I want to help you create connection and cooperation in your home. I want to help you have a 95% probability of creating the connection and the cooperation in your home during one of the most stressful times of the year.

Right now, do you have goosebumps? Are you like, “Lisa, that just feels impossible. I don’t even know how you would do that.” I can help you with that. I promise. All I need you to do is show up. Well first sign up then show up and do the work.

The very first step to calm the chaos is to accept the invitation and come join me for my upcoming free, F-R-E-E, free three day challenge that I call Keep Calm and Parent On During the Holidays. Did I mention it’s free? F-R-E-E. It’s online and it’s for you. I designed this for you. For you, for your parenting, and your family.

You can participate in this free three day challenge Keep Calm and Parent On During the Holidays from anywhere in the world. I don’t care where you’re tuning in from right now. You can tune in from anywhere in the world. This three day challenge requires a minimal time commitment of one hour a day for three days. So if you have one hour a day for three days, you can sign up for the challenge and completely transform your parenting. You can move your family from chaos to calm in one of the most stressful times of the year.

The three day challenge Keep Calm and Parenting On During the Holidays is all about understanding where your anger comes from, understanding why your kids storm. It’s an invitation to get a handle on our own frustration and storming as parents. During the three day challenge, I’m going to teach you tips, tools, and ideas. Exact tools that are going to move you from chaos to cooperation while you’re spending time with your kids. Sounds amazing, right?

I love this challenge. I love offering it. I love inviting you to join. I love showing up. I love serving the community that we create during the three day challenge Keep Calm and Parenting On During the Holidays.

So here’s how the challenge works. I want you to go over to thepeacefulparent.com/challenge and sign up. That’s all you have to do. You sign up and we’ll take it from there.

Once you register for the challenge, you’re going to get daily reminders and the challenge workbook. As I mentioned during the challenge, I’m going to give you tips, tools, and support for how to create connection and cooperation in your home. Each day we’re going to take on a different topic.

On Monday December 6^th we’re going to cover why do my kids storm? Why Lisa? Why? On Wednesday the 8^th of December, we’re going to cover how do I create connection with them? On Friday the 12^th of December we’re going to dig into how to get maximum cooperation from your kids.

Now I go live each day of the challenge in a popup Facebook group that you’ll get invited to. If you don’t have Facebook, you can join me over on Zoom. I will meet you over there in the morning my time, Pacific California time, where we’re going to do the class. Then I’m going to meet you back there a few hours later where you’ll have an opportunity to get live coaching from me or listening to other people get coached.

Remember I say all the time listening and reading is information. Coaching is transformation. So you’re going to be in community with lots of likeminded parents. I’m going to coach people. You can choose to get coached and ask me a question or you can listen to others get coached. Either way you’re going to have a massive transformation. It’s your chance to interact with a master certified parent coach and get real live coaching on what’s going on in your family.

My private clients pay thousands of dollars for this. I’m extending an invitation to you right now for F-R-E-E. All you have to do is sign up for the three day challenge. I don’t want you to worry. If you sign up and you can’t make the live calls. You can’t make any of them or you can’t make a couple, it’s okay. The recordings will be available inside the popup Facebook group for a limited time.

So if you can’t join us for the live call, that’s okay. You just need to set some time aside in your calendar. Remember I said one hour a day to go into the Facebook group and watch the recordings.

I hope you’ll take me up on this because I really, really want you to be that person who moves past the 10% chance of completing a goal with an idea. I don’t want you to be the person that has a 50% chance of completing a goal when you have a plan. I also don’t want you to be the 65% chance person who completes a goal when you have just one person to hold you accountable.

I want you to have a 95% probability of completing a goal when you have a specific accountability appointment, that’s the three day challenge, with a person you’re committed to, that’s me. This is how we’re going to move you from chaos to connection.

This is how we’re going to change the trajectory of your family. This is how we’re going to put you down the path of peaceful parenting and give you a 95% probability of being the parent you’ve always wanted to be. Yeah? I know you want that for you and your entire family. I want it for you too.

So go ahead and get signed up now when you hear this recording. As I mentioned before, we need you to just go over to thepeacefulparent.com/challenge, sign up, and we’ll take it from there. We’ll do all the work for you. We’ll guide you through every step of the challenge. There’s also a link in the show notes. So if you want to scroll down to the show notes and you can access them, you can click on the link and that will take you directly to the page where you can sign up.

I absolutely 100% cannot wait to work with you. If you know another parent, grandparent, teacher, nanny, guardian, coparent that maybe you don’t even like, but you want them to be on the path to peaceful parenting, invite them to be on the path as well. The more the merrier.

We’re going to build an absolutely incredible community of likeminded parents that are ready to move from chaos to calm and create connection with their kids by joining the Keep Calm and Parenting On During the Holidays three day challenge. Again, I can’t wait to work with you. Until we meet again, I’m wishing you peaceful parenting.

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon.