Ep #58: Become a Better Parent in 2022: Real-World Success Stories

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to today’s episode. I absolutely love being with you here each week. I wanted to take a minute to tell you that I am so proud of you for investing this time in your parenting, in your kids, and in your family. Well done you. Well done.

As we head further into 2022 and we focus on this year being the year of becoming a better parent, I wanted to show you what’s possible by sharing with you some success stories of parents who just like you are on the path to peaceful parenting using the mantra progress over perfection. These are parents that found me just like you and have been working on connecting with their kids and increasing the cooperation with their families.

As I read each story, listen to where each parent is using the tools that we talk about each week and where the parents are putting the tools to use. As you’re listening, think about where you can apply these lessons and tools in your own parenting of your kids at any age and at any stage. I bring you today’s episode to inspire you, to motivate you to keep going, and for you to see exactly what is possible. You ready? Let’s dig in.

Okay story number one is about Susan. Susan said, “I’ve been working hard to capture and rule my thoughts. Today my kitty felt ill. When my animals are sick, I get instantly triggered and I feel the panic try to rise. I told my brain be quiet and sit down. Kitty’s going to be okay. She went to the vet and got fixed up. I’m still in my higher brain and am headed to get my four year old from school.

“Normally this thing would send me sideways for the rest of the day and I would storm constantly with my son as I picked him up and moved throughout the evening. What I understand is that I can work to stay triggered even when I’m freaked out about my kitty and show up fully present for my four year old by staying in my higher brain.” So good, right?

Another parent chimed in and said, “Hey just like you, I didn’t lose my shiz today when my six year old continued to scream for about an hour. I stayed regulated throughout the storm. What I understood is that his emotional backpack needed to be empty after school today and he needed to eat. So I just kept reminding myself that the struggle is real.” Oh so good.

All right here’s another story from us. This one is from Stephanie. Stephanie said, “I started to lose my shiz when my six year old was storming after school, but I stopped myself. I looked at her and I said do you need a hug? She said yes. During our hug I asked if everything was okay. She said her friends were mean to her today at school. I told her to tell me more. After telling me, I told her that would hurt my feelings too. I’m so sorry that happened to you today. She hugged me again and was in a much better mood. We were able to move throughout our afternoon and evening with ease.”

After Stephanie posted this, another mom chimed in and said, “I had an almost identical experience two days ago. Way to go mama. You provided her just what she needed. You scuba dived down to the feelings and needs.” I love it. I love it. I love sharing these stories with you all.

Okay this mama, we’ll call her Julie, posted in our group, “Happy Friday. This week when the boys walked into my house after being with their dad all weekend, I was flashed back to last year before I met Lisa and the peaceful parenting three day challenge. The difference this time was how I reacted. This time instead of me storming right along with them I just waited and waited.

“When the storm passed, I asked if they needed anything from me. My 13 year old immediately said, ‘Sorry mom, I don’t know why I was yelling.’ I said it’s okay honey. Want to talk about it? He said, ‘Let me think about it for a minute.’ I said okay, let me know when you’re ready. Later that evening he came to me and asked to talk. This was the first time ever that my 13 year old offered to talk on his own about his feelings after coming back from dad’s house. What a total win? I gave him some space, let some oxygen in the room, and he totally responded.”

Not taking it personally and holding space for our kids. Scuba diving down to the feelings and needs. All right, here’s another one by Iris. “Lisa, yesterday was my birthday. My strong willed twin wrote me the most beautiful card. She said it took her over an hour to write it in her best printing. The message was so touching it brought me to tears. She said I’m the best mom in the whole world. She needed it with, ‘I know it doesn’t make it easy on you, but I love you more than anything. Thank you for teaching me all the lessons I need to learn.’”

Iris reported, “Lisa, I was absolutely bawling. I’m so excited how I’m showing up for my 13 year old in these moments. The connection I’m starting to feel with her is incredible.” Ah I just love it. Well done Iris.

Wendy reported recently, “There have been so many instances in just the last two days where I normally would have completely lost my shiz. Instead I am a proud mom. Proud of myself for staying calm and regulated. It’s definitely a practice. It’s simple but not easy but so worth the work. In exchange I’m feeling connected with my daughter maybe for the first time ever.” Way to go Wendy. Way to go.

All right  now we’ve got a story from a mom we’ll call Jonah. She said, “Well, I did have a moment. My daughter was being silly and flailing around this morning getting ready for school. I was calm and in my higher brain, and then I saw it coming. I felt myself starting to get triggered. I fought the feeling back. I tried to hold it down, but then my daughter got close to me and I asked her to calm herself. She threw herself forward and I grabbed her and immediately reprimanded her. Stop it I said. In that same moment, my brain said whoa, how did that just happen?”

So Jonah said, “I asked myself what triggered me? Was it her being silly? No. It was the flailing around, yes. This mom realized that she was getting triggered because she got scared. She got scared that either her or her daughter was going to get hurt. One of us getting hurt has happened in the past. Now I realized her flailing incites fear in me. It’s not her behavior, it’s my fear. My brain is trying to tell me danger Will Robinson, danger. You must be in fear. Something bad is going to happen.

“So I told my daughter I was sorry and I told her that I’m working on it. That I was scared and I didn’t react well. We snuggled and then I slipped into some tickling and we were both reset. I was calm again. Now I can see. Now I know what’s going on. I was triggered. I was triggered by my fear. However, how I feel empowered. I feel more in control of my thoughts. The next time this situation presents, I know I will be able to even quicklier identify my fear and move back into my higher brain.”

Ah that is so good. That is so, so good. Can you imagine that happening for you with your kids? Understanding your triggers real time while they’re happening and be able to work on them yourself rather than projecting them onto your kids. Ah I want that for every single one of you. Every single one of you.

All right this parent, we’ll call her Chrissy, shared with us recently that back in October she got the dreaded phone call from her preschool that there needed to be a meeting about her son’s behavior. She said, “I didn’t care for the way the meeting went, and I left feeling crushed as though something was wrong with my three year old. The bright side? That incident led me to finding Lisa and peaceful parenting. Even though I haven’t been as engaged as I intend to be, I’ve learned so much.

“Fast forward to today when I received another call for a second meeting from the preschool. Based on the work I’ve been doing here, I felt far more prepared to take the call. I’m very proud of the way I spoke with the director. Clearly there’s work to do here, and my son’s having a hard time in school.

“The win is that I feel like I can handle the problem and seek solutions in a way that I wasn’t prepared to do before finding peaceful parenting. Thank you for being here and providing great support. I feel empowered and confident that I’m a better mom today than I was before finding Lisa and the peaceful parent.”

Yay, yay, yay Chrissy. I am proud of you. So proud. So, so, so proud. Okay one more story from a mom we’ll call Demi. She said, “I just wanted to share. I have an extremely strong willed three year old. Every bath or putting clothing can be turned into the highest level of storming unless I give him choices. Then he’s enthusiastic and more than happy to put his clothes on every single time.

“Oh thank you Lisa for teaching me how to deal with him. It’s still a work in progress, but the struggle was real before I discovered you. Now I have options that help him have options that help him feel in control that leads to connection.” So good Demi. So good.

Another mom, Andy, chimed in, “Offering choices was a game changer for my spirited daughter too.” Another mom Mary chimed in, “Same here. Out strong willed children are making us better parents and better people, and I’m so up for it.” Another mom said, “I’m in the same boat with my boys. They love choices too and it really works. I’ve learned empathy here. Just imagine being told what to  do all the time and when all the time. I’d be ticked off too.”

Ah so good. The ah-ha moments happening inside the group are absolutely incredible, and I want that for you too. So remember 2022 is the year to becoming a better parent. I am fully committed to you. I’m fully committed to guiding you and supporting you and teaching you. I am your coach. I am here for you.

Here’s what I want you to know. To parent peacefully doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice to implement the new tools and a new way of parenting. Thankfully even small steps with an increased awareness can result in big shifts in the quality of our relationships with our children. Every step we take towards increasing our peaceful parenting brings us exponentially closer to creating that deep connection with our kids and peace in the home just like the stories I shared with you today.

Behind every story that I shared, these are real actual stories. The names might be changed, but these are real actual things happening inside the hive. Behind every story is a parent just like you. Yes you. You, who stared just where you are. Who had the same exact struggles that you’re dealing with. The difference? He, she, or they took the next step. They took the next step, yeah?

So maybe you’re asking yourself, “All right Lisa. Well, what is the next step? What is it?” They moved from information to transformation by getting into action. Moving from information to transformation just takes action. The best action I know is to join The Hive. If this episode really spoke to you and you want to be a future success story, I want you to come check out The Hive. Because it will give you all the tools you need to move along the path to peaceful parenting.

The Hive is a one of its kind community that serves parents who want ongoing support with their parenting. It’s designed to help you take small steps in your peaceful parenting that will bring you exponentially closer to being the parent you’ve always wanted to be. The Hive allows you to have me, a master certified parent coach, in your back pocket at all times and get answers to your questions without any obligation on your end.

The Hive is not an online group of parents showcasing their social media perfect parenting. It’s not an endless feed of inspirational quotes and empty cliches. It’s not a place where I do all the talking at you. The Hive is designed to help you make small steps in your journey to bring you closer to the connection you’ve always wanted with your kids.

I want to take a minute and tell you what’s possible for your family. Imagine this. Imagine never being more than a few days away from having a tried and true parenting expert give you tailored guidance on your most recent situation. Imagine feeling any and all anxiety and guilt you feel right now about your parenting melt away. Imagine feeling deep love and connection with your child growing stronger every day. Imagine knowing that no parenting challenge, none, not one is too big for you because of the vast experience and support you can immediately draw on in The Hive.

If these sound amazing to you, I want you to know that you can make it happen, you can make it a reality inside The Hive. So consider this your personal invitation from me to you, your personal invitation to take action, to take the next step in 2022 to becoming a better parent. Go to thehivecoaching.com to join. I absolutely cannot wait to welcome you into the community and get started working with you.

I really hope you enjoyed the success stories that I shared today. I really hope you enjoyed having a look at what peaceful parenting looks like day to day and what’s possible for you. My goal in today’s episode was to inspire you, to motivate you, to help you understand how you can move down the path to peaceful parenting using the mantra progress over perfection. I want to let you know what is possible. I want to motivate you to keep going.

So I’m going to keep doing this all year. I’m going to keep inspiring, motivating, and showing you what’s possible as we move down the path to becoming a better parent in 2022. If you’re ready to take action, go to thehivecoaching.com and join us. We can’t wait to welcome you into the community. Until we meet again, I’m wishing you peaceful parenting.

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon.