Ep #47: How to Use Technology to Connect with Your Kids: A Conversation with Troomi

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith | How to Use Technology to Connect with Your Kids: A Conversation with Troomi

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith | How to Use Technology to Connect with Your Kids: A Conversation with Troomi

The discussion around children and technology is a complicated one. All we seem to hear is the negativity and the downsides to giving our kids a phone, and as parents, we can feel torn and stuck, not knowing what to do.

As the holiday season approaches, many of you will be considering upgrading or getting your kids their first phone, so I figured it would be the perfect time to bring today’s guest back onto the show. Bill Brady is the CEO and Co-founder of Troomi Wireless, a cellular network designed specifically for kids, and he’s joining me again to share how to use technology to connect with your kids and the benefits of giving your kids a phone.

Tune in this week for a positive conversation about technology and some tips to feel good about helping your kids dive into the phone world. It’s so easy to talk about all the dangers of technology, but there is so much good available through the internet, so discover what’s so amazing about Troomi, and how to feel empowered about giving your kids their first phone.

As we head into what can be one of the most stressful times of the year, I want to help you create cooperation in your home. Click here to sign up for my upcoming FREE 3-day challenge Keep Calm and Parent On During the Holidays starting on December 6th, 2021, and learn the tips, tools, and ideas that will move you from chaos to cooperation. I designed this for YOU, and I can’t wait to work with you!


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What Troomi does and how it helps children navigate technology and the internet.
  • The benefits of kids learning to use technology at an early age.
  • Why it feels difficult to know what to do with kids and phones.
  • How technology has enhanced our relationships and connections with our kids.
  • The importance of communicating your expectations or any rules when giving your child a phone for the first time.
  • Why I wish Troomi was around when I introduced technology to my son.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in.

Lisa: Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to today’s episode. I know. I know I say this every week, but it’s true. Today I’m really, really, really excited to have a special guest and our first repeat guest. So how’s that? How’s that? That is good stuff when you’re a repeat. You did such a good job the first time you’re coming back.

So join me today in welcoming Bill Brady. Bill is the CEO and cofounder of Troomi Wireless. I wanted to ask Bill back specifically this time of the year as we head into “holiday” season. Wherever you are in the world no matter what holiday you celebrate, come of you are considering upgrading or getting your kids their first phone. I have just fallen absolutely in love with Troomi and everything they offer. What they’re about, the philosophy, the product, the software, and the fact that they’re a safe phone that grows with your kids.

So I thought it would be a great time of the year to invite Bill to come back and have a conversation about phones and the Kidsmart OS system. So let me pause there and say Bill welcome. So glad to have you here.

Bill: Hey. Thank you, Lisa. Great to be with you again. This is my first time as a repeat guest.

Lisa: Well there you go.

Bill: So thank you for having me back on. Excited to be here.

Lisa: Yes. Beautiful. Beautiful. So just to ground everybody, let me tell you a little bit about Troomi. Where I go wrong, Bill will put us back on the right track. What I love about Troomi, again, is they say it’s the safe phone that grows with your kids. I wish, I really do. I said this to Bill earlier. I wish that his system, the Kidsmart OS, had been around when I first introduced the phone to my son. Because it just makes a ton of sense.

So the Kidsmart OS empowers children by protecting them from pornography, predators, bullies, and screen addiction while providing tool to accel in school and opportunities to enjoy their hobbies, nurture their talents, and discover new passion. I would add and stay in touch with friends, right. I think that’s something you guys are missing in your statement there. So tell us a little bit about the phone and the operating system and what’s so special about it.

Bill: Yeah. You know the whole vision was born out of a recognition that I achieved, frankly, with my own children. That there’s kind of two ends of the spectrum when it comes to giving devices to kids. On one hand, you can give a kid a $1,200 brand new iPhone that does anything and everything. It could launch a space shuttle if you wanted it to. I think we’ve learned as a society, we’re starting to recognize eh that’s probably too much to put in the hands of a young person.

On the other spectrum, there are some solutions that have come out that say, “Hey, let’s solve the problem by making such a locked down device that the child can only do talk and text.” That’s where I was. That’s the road I had gone with my kids.

At the time, my daughter was 12 years old. It became very apparent very quickly that although I liked the safety factor of it, she resented it tremendously because she couldn’t do anything of the good, wholesome, worthwhile creative things that she wanted to do or that she needed to do for school or hobbies.

That’s where I had this vision of what if we could give kids a device that started with a very limited experience but then made it very easy for parents to graduate their kids into increasing functionality as their needs and their maturity evolved. That’s where we set out to build our Kidsmart operating system and built Troomi around that.

Lisa: I love that. I love that. Because that’s really in line with what I talk about, right. At one end of the parenting spectrum you have dominant parenting, which is essentially what the talk and text was and your daughter was resentful. At the other extreme you had no guardrails, which is really the equivalent of permissive parenting.

Where you’ve landed is in the middle, which is peaceful parenting. You get your kids a phone and you come alongside them. As they age and grow, you give them more and more responsibility, but you’re also protecting them and making sure you’re comfortable. Making sure they’re safe and using the phone appropriately and judiciously.

Bill: Yeah. Lisa, you just keyed in on something really important there. Because one of the benefits that we’re hearing from parents is that because of the flexibility of the system, for the first time they feel empowered to sit down and have open contrastive conversations with their kids. Really understand what is it you’re looking for? What do you need?

Then conversely help them understand, “Here are my concerns and the things that we’re going to be aware of. There are things that we’re going to stay away from. Together let’s decide what goes onto this phone.” All the while maintaining the guardrails for avoiding pornography and predators and bullies and that stuff. There’s so much good that can be done while still avoiding those things. Yeah, really excited to talk through some of that today.

Lisa: Yeah, I love that. I love that. So what I invited Bill to talk about today, I feel like there is so often so much negativity around phones. Getting our kids their first phone, kids and phones. I feel like sometimes as parents, we feel stuck or torn. Our kids want it so bad and maybe we want it for them. Yet there’s oftentimes some guilt around the phone.

So what I wanted to do is invite Bill to have a positive conversation. I want to talk about what are the positive things about getting your kids a phone. Rather than talk about the dangers and pitfalls and problems, those do exist. I’m acknowledging those. There’s a million articles out there about those. Let’s talk about some of the positive aspects of getting your kids a phone. So take us through a couple of those Bill.

Bill: Yeah. So I think the basic premise for me is that technology is going to be part of our kid’s lives. If they want to leave home and get jobs, they’re going to have to use technology.

Lisa: Yeah.

Bill: I would rather they learn how to use technology within the environment that I provide as a parent where, again, I can step them into the different phases, help them if they have a problem. And make sure that by the time they are 17 and 18 years old and leaving home, they are completely responsible, disciplined, have a healthy relationship with technology. So there’s that practical aspect of it. We need to prepare them for the future. That’s good. That’s exciting. That’s part of helping our kids learn and grow and evolve and become healthy adults.

The other side of that is for their personal growth and development. Yeah, it’s easy. Like you said, it’s so easy to talk about all the dangers online. Those exist, and we’ve got to be vigilant and cautious. But there’s also so much good that’s available through the internet. You think of the ability to connect with friends and family.

I grew up in eastern Canada, actually, and I’ve raised my family 2,000 miles away from my kid’s grandparents, my parents and their aunts and uncles in Canada. Well were it not for technology, I mean they wouldn’t have much of a relationship. So that’s an obvious one, but just that connectivity.

There’s also an empowerment. Like when we think of kids, we really think of their unlimited potential. That’s what drives us. We believe that every child has unlimited potential to learn, do, and become anything. Well, this day and age technology can be a wonderful, wonderful tool.

For example, we have a daughter who’s a history buff. She loves history. Recently she was able to take a guided tour of Jamestown that was led by someone who had been a Jamestown historian for two decades. She got to go in all the different places and have this experience and felt like she was there. She wasn’t, but she had all that benefit of visiting Jamestown. We couldn’t do that when we were kids.

Lisa: Yeah.

Bill: That’s something that technology has made available. She was enriched, and her passion for history increased because of that. Using technology as a tool for school. Well, that’s another one that is probably obvious but gets trampled if you give your kids a device that’s so locked down that they can only talk or text.

This has all been, obviously, exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic. But kids have to have access to apps like Canvas or Google Classroom or Blackboard where their kids are providing the course outlines and they’re receiving and submitting assignments and checking their grades. The age at which teachers are asking students to use those tools is becoming younger and younger and younger.

So, again, technology is not only helpful in the administration of one’s studies, but it have tools to write your papers and do your math and everything else. That was something that was important to us. Let’s make sure that those tools are available.

Hobbies is another one. There are hobbies that my kids get tutorials from online. We make sure they’re coming from safe websites or safe apps, but technology helps them refine their love of music or their performance of music. I have a daughter that’s a phenomenal singer and getting into musical theater and that kind of thing. Phenomenal assets, resources, available for her online.

So I mean that’s just kind of a high level, but in terms of being able to enrich a child’s life. It’s just yeah we’ve got to do it safely, but there’s just so much good that’s out there.

Lisa: I agree. I agree. I’d like to follow up with a couple comments. So you mentioned the family aspect, and the same is true for us. We’re sort of scattered all over the United States. We have this great family chat that our whole extended family is in. My son gets to be a part of it at 17. We know what’s going on in everyday life.

I don’t have to always communicate it to him because he’s getting that information real time and participating. That Aunt Laura is doing this or Cousin Nick is doing that or Owen won his soccer game. So it really has created a family connection with all of us. I probably would have that connection anyways because I’m the adult and I would be ringing people on the regular, but my son gets to participate in it which is really cool.

Bill: Yeah, fantastic.

Lisa: Yeah, yeah. I, like you, I have a son that is not a reader. He does not like to read. He’s not great at it. He doesn’t like it. But he loves consuming content on history. So the phone has just allowed my son to watch so many documentaries, listen to podcasts, learn information, and really enjoy his hobby of history without torturing himself of reading. He wouldn’t have the knowledge because he wouldn’t be reading the books because he doesn’t love to read. He still is able to grab that information and learn it. So I agree with you. I think it really opens doors.

Bill: Yeah. He’s a better person with a more enriched mind because of it.

Lisa: I agree. You know what else I was thinking while you were talking Bill is I also think when kids have access on a phone to instant information, you know Google that. When you wonder something. Like who won the ’75 Superbowl? Or how many seasons did Michael Jordan play basketball? What were the dates of the battle of whatever? When kids can look that information up and have instant access to it, I think what it does is it cultivates a curiosity and it keeps it going.

I imagine you and I are roughly the same age. I imagine we were not half as curious as our children are because we did not have access to the information.

Bill: I don’t know if you had this in your home. Growing up, we had a set of encyclopedias. They took up three feet on a bookshelf. I can think of, I don’t know, half a dozen times that I used them for specific school assignments. It was never just a, “Hey I’m going to grab one of those encyclopedias and just pour myself into it.”

Lisa: Yeah. And they were dated. So even if you wanted to, the odds of—You know most families bought one set of encyclopedias for the whole lifetimes. There were no like here’s your own inserts.

Bill: Right. Excellent point.

Lisa: So if you were the youngest of four or five kids and the encyclopedias were bought when your oldest brother was in third grade, they’re pretty dated. I agree. Yeah.

Bill: Yeah. I think a set of encyclopedias back then was $1,000 or something. Like they weren’t inexpensive.

Lisa: Yeah. There were door to door salesmen that fed their families off the commission of encyclopedias.

Bill: Yeah. I think that’s how ours were purchased.

Lisa: Yeah, for sure. They catch you at a weak moment, and the mom is signing over the dad for the whole set, you know. I think you used to get the bookshelf for free if you bought the whole set, right.

Bill: I don’t know.

Lisa: I’ll tell you another area where we have enjoyed in our family my son having a phone is he’s been driving about a year and a half. This is certainly for the parents of kids on the older side, but we were able to—We all have Life360. So first of all, I’m able to feel assured that I know where he is.

Also my husband and I have been able to monitor in a positive way his driving and set some rules and give him some feedback and feel certain that he’s doing what we’re asking him to do. Follow the speed limit, not be on his phone. There’s just a lot of information that comes our way as well that gives us more insight. I wonder if you can speak to this. Gives us more insight into our kids and helps us be better parents.

Bill: Yeah. I think that happens in some very specific ways, like you just mentioned. It’s also, I think, in the big picture gives us—Just helping a kid learn how to take responsibility with something like a phone, it provides a pretty quick insight into their personality and in general their ability to discipline themselves or focus themselves or whatever it is. I can see that in my kids.

That’s what I love. The way we built Troomi is you can custom fit that experience to each child’s needs, maturity, and personality. I have some kids that have more access to more tools because they’re naturally more disciplined and less likely to turn technology into an overused habit. Whereas with some very quickly I see a pattern that the phone reveals, but it’s true in other areas of their lives too. It’s helped us to say, “Hey. With this particular child, here are some life skills that we need to focus on. That we need to help them generate.”

Lisa: Yeah. I love the have the latter, and in the years that he’s had a phone. It’s been a few now. In the beginning, he needed a lot of help regulating himself. He needed a lot of help putting the phone away at night. Having a certain time that the phone got put away. I’m so glad that my husband and I had the opportunity to help them with that because I can’t imagine going off to college with a ton of freedom and what might have happened. But we’ve had this dry run with the phone.

Now I observed as my son’s gotten older, we’ve eased up on the restrictions just naturally over time. I see him picking up where we left off naturally. Putting the phone away at night. Not being on it in the middle of the night. Being able to regulate himself. Knowing when to put it away to study. I just see a lot of good habits that we’ve been able to work on together. Now he’s sort of taking over and driving the bus on his own.

Bill: That’s exactly what you want as a parent. I mean that’s—If the student outgrows the teacher and they can do it themselves, you’ve succeeded. That’s great.

Lisa: How about it. Yeah. Another fun thing that happened to us recently. I want to get your take on this. So my son and I had had a disagreement in the morning before he had left for school. When he got to school, he got there a few minutes early. He sent me a text and he said, “Hey, I’m sorry about this morning.”

I was able to text him back and be clear about what I was upset about. I was able to write it out, gather my thoughts, and then text it to him. His response really surprised me in a good way. He wrote back to me and he said, “I understand mom. I’m going to save this text so that next time when I’m in this situation, I can refer to how you’re guiding me.” I was like whoa.

You know sometimes text messaging back and forth gives us a really way to communicate with each other. It does a couple things. One, it forces me to clarify my thoughts because I can kind of wander all over the place when I’m parenting over a value. I kind of can talk out loud and kind of zigzag all over the place. Not a surprise I have a podcast.

So it forces me to clarify. It allows him to hear what I’m saying without a lot of pressure and direct eye contact and feeling under the gun. It really gives him a chance to digest what I’m saying. So I feel like I have this sidekick in my parenting called text messaging.

Bill: Absolutely. I love that little example. You’ll look back on that years from now and whatever your disagreement was before school, it won’t have seemed like a big deal. But in that moment, and I’ve had this same kind of thing happen with one of my kids. Where there was a moment of tension about whatever it was.

Before this ability to reach back out with a quick text, I might have stewed about something all day. “I can’t believe she mouthed off to me like that.” You know? She may have stewed all day at school. “I can’t believe he’s so… He doesn’t understand me.”

Lisa: It’s so unfair. He doesn’t understand me.

Bill: It’s so unfair. Whatever it was, right.

Lisa: Yeah.

Bill: But in that moment where you and your son exchanged those messages, the tension was gone. I’ve had that situation with my daughter where I’ve just said, “Hey, sorry about whatever.” It’s over. There’s no stewing on it. There’s no hard feelings. Those were little things, but yeah. We couldn’t do that. When we were kids, we would have gone off to school and been mad at our parents all day.

Lisa: Yeah. And you know the other way I use it a lot. I want to say this to parents to give them ideas. I have always used this. I mean here’s my philosophy. My kid loves his phone. It’s basically with him as much as possible. So I use it a lot to provide direction. Here’s the list of things you need to have done before you leave the house. Here’s your chores for the day.

Bill: Good.

Lisa: Right? Hey it’s getting close to bedtime. I don’t think you’ve showered yet. Can you jump in the shower? I tell parents all the time when I’m coaching them. You have this tool and they love it. So let it help you guide them on tasks and to dos. It’s really a communication vehicle for us to our kids. It’s in a method that they like and can digest.

Bill: Yeah. I would never be one—Like I talk about this a lot. I never want technology to replace face to face eye to eye shoulder to shoulder communication, but kids are being raised in a different world than we were raised in. You know? I think just being able to have some of those more frequent little touch points like that can make that larger relationship much easier, much more natural.

I have a great relationship with my kids. I think in part because the little things that could become problems, we never let them get big. It’s because we talk frequently. There’s never a “Well, I’m just going to ignore this person for three days.” Even if it’s just little touch points with a text message, like you were just mentioning. I think it helps the overall communication.

Lisa: I agree. I agree 100%. I mean I feel like texting back and forth with my son enhances the relationship. I can text him in the middle of the day and say, “Hey, I hope you’re having a great day. Or thanks for getting the garbage out this morning. I noticed that you’re remembering to put the garbage out on Tuesday’s without me having to ask. I love that, right?

Bill: And that means everything.

Lisa: Yeah. It’s just like a drop in their bucket. If you’re familiar with Don Clifton’s work, he wrote a book. Don Clifton’s the founder of Gallup and he wrote a book called A Drop in Your Bucket.

Bill: I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Lisa: Okay. So when I worked in corporate America, people would have little drops posted up on their wall in their office or cubicle. Like look at all the compliments I’ve gotten. Text messaging really could be the new drop in your bucket when you reach out to your kid. “Hey, hope you’re having a great day. You looked great this morning. I hope your English test went well. Can you put the dishes away? FYI, we’re going to have dinner at 6:00 tonight.”

You know this is the way they communicate with each other. So what I’m encouraging parents to do is jump into that game, right? It’s their mode of—I agree with you. I mean you still need to have fellowship together. You still need to have time and community. You still need to have face to face time. I use it to augment that, to supplement what I’m already doing and enhance the relationship.

Bill: You know I have, one of my daughter’s, she’s 14. We use texting as a really fun part of our relationship where there’s joking and teasing. No exaggeration two or three times a week she’ll come across something funny or hear something funny and she’s texting me in the middle of the day, “Dad, check this out.” It’s such a fun part of our relationship that we wouldn’t have without that extra little touch point.

Lisa: It strengthens the bond.

Bill: Yeah, absolutely.

Lisa: Yeah. You put the hours in to create the bond, and this is just strengthening. My husband and son are both fans of the stock market and trading. So they’re often texting each other, “Hey, look at this company? Or did you see so and so’s up today or down today?” That’s a language they both speak. So they can use it.

I have a son who’s really busy. He plays competitive basketball. He leaves the house at 5:00 a.m. He doesn’t get home some nights until 6:30/7:00. When he gets home, he’s done. He is done for the day. We have dinner and then he’s kind of either homework or stretching.

So they’ll text a couple times throughout the day and talk about the stock market. I can see both of them feeling connected to the other person through this shared hobby. The text allows them to stay in touch with each other in times that they wouldn’t see each other. They don’t see each other during the day.

Bill: Yeah. Love it.

Lisa: Right. So I like that idea too. Yeah. All right. So let’s talk about this for a second Bill. Since there are people listening to this, they’re going to go out and they’re going to get their kids a Troomi phone for the holidays let’s say.

One thing I talk a lot about with my clients and with my parents is I think it’s really good idea to establish the rules or guidelines upfront. Even if you’re handing a phone over as a gift. I’m not one that really likes strings attached to gifts. So this goes in the face. Having said that, I also want parents to think about the rules and guidelines upfront while handing it over rather than making it up as they go.

Bill: Oh it’s so important. So think of us adults. As adults, when we go into any kind of agreement, we all want to know what the rules are upfront. It’s the same thing with kids. Frankly it’s a matter of showing respect to them.

There’re kind of two philosophies here. I can give you a phone or I’m giving you this phone to use. Either way, the same principle applies of this is a privilege. Establishing upfront what the ground rules for that privilege are, and frankly I think having kids sign off on it. This is a contract that we’re establishing. “I agree that I’m not going to look at pornography, bully people.” Whatever those things are.

Lisa: Get on my phone in the middle of the night.

Bill: Yes. I’m going to turn my phone in at 9:00. Whatever those things are in your family, establishing all of that on day one.

Lisa: Yes.

Bill: Literally changes everything.

Lisa: I agree. And to go further, what behavior will result in losing the phone and for how long, right. It’s not a random thing. I say this all the time. This is how adults treat each other. I know the rules. If I choose to get behind the wheel with alcohol in my system, I know what’s going to happen. I know what the rules are. I know them up front. The cop doesn’t come to the car and go, “Oh today I’m in a bad mood. I’m going to send you to prison for 100 years.” Right?

I mean this is important to model this for our children. If I came to work for you tomorrow, I get there first day of work and I say, “Okay Bill. What are the rules? What do you want me to do?” “Oh I don’t know. Just go figure it out, but every time you screw it up, we’re going to take a paycheck from you.” I mean I wouldn’t last 10 minutes, right?

When I come to work for you, I want to know what do you expect? What are the rules of engagement? What’s going to get me in trouble? What are the boundaries? Do I need to be here everyday by 7:00? Do I need to put in eight hours, or do I need to just get my work done? I mean usually there’s direction and guidance given.

As parents, we skip this step with our kids. So I think it’s important to be clear and upfront. What are the rules? What are you expecting from me? What are the areas I need to stay out of? What is going to happen if I venture into those areas?

Bill: That’s a perfect analogy. I’m just picturing being a kid and getting in trouble for something that I didn’t know was against the rules. Yeah, that’s going to lead to a rift in that relationship pretty fast.

Lisa: Well, to be honest with you that describes my entire childhood. No one ever told me the rules. I had no idea what they were. Then I would do something and suddenly there would be some punitive law enforced on me. I remember. I grew up feeling like it was unfair all the time because I never really understood. I just didn’t get the manual ahead of time. So I had trouble navigating. I mean I was a pretty good kid in general most things considered.  I just remember. My saying when I was like was kids are people too.

Bill: I love it.

Lisa: Seriously. I remember I mean one of the jokes in my family is apparently I was sitting in the backyard one day and I said, “Who does she think she is? Kids are people too you know?” I have literally felt that way since then. I want us to respect our children by when we give them something this important, outlining the rules on the spot with the consequences. I agree with you completely. Both people sign a contract.

The good news for the parent is then when your kid does get up in the middle of the night or downloads an app you tell them they can’t, then all you have to do is go to the contract. It’s like a flow chart. Okay I said if you got an app I didn’t preapprove, you lose your phone for two days. Okay we’re going to put the phone away for two days. You’ll have it back on Wednesday. You’re good to go. You don’t have to try to make up rules while you’re dysregulated and upset.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. I think the other thing that a lot of parents find is that when they have that respectful conversation and lay the ground rules out, most kids rise to the occasion. When a child is respected and there’s constructive conversations about why they’re doing something, most kids get it. Kids are inherently good, wonderful human beings.

So I think it goes a long way to expect the best of them, set the ground rules with them, be understanding. Be the parent when mistakes are made but avoid the shaming. If you have that playbook or that contract to come back to, so much easier.

Lisa: Yes. I want to say the contract is also an opportunity for you to check in with your kids. Does this make sense? Does it seem reasonable to you? Are you agreeable to follow it? I always say I call this setting limits. Setting limits can be the beginning of a conversation whereas punishing and coming down on your kids is the end of a conversation, right?

Just today my son and I were having a conversation about bedtime. He’s not real excited about the time he has to go to bed at night. I said hey, put your best argument together. Get your facts together. Get your argument together. Tomorrow afternoon, come and talk to dad and I. We’ll sit down. Dad and I will get a glass of wine. We’ll have a seat. We’ll have a conversation about where are we at.

It gives us a little bit of time to gather our thoughts. It gives my son time. We do this in our family. We have these really—You know chances are, maybe it will budge. Maybe it won’t, but it’s this really nice open conversation that’s respectful.

Bill: Yes. Yeah that’s great. That’s wonderful. I may need your notes from that conversation. I’ve got a couple kids that are pushing bedtime recently.

Lisa: Oh boy the bedtime thing. It’s like honestly, I’ve got to tell you. Knock wood. In our house, it’s like the last bastion. It’s the last thing that we seem to struggle with is we really want our kid to get lots of rest. I’ve done enough research. It’s probably a whole different podcast. They really are catching their second wind right at bedtime. So far, we’re holding firm to our bedtime.

Bill: That’s good.

Lisa: I’ll pass the cliff notes over after the conversation.

Bill: I need it. I’ve got a couple that love to go to bed, and a couple that I want to say, “You’re 12 years old. It shouldn’t take you 19 minutes to get ready for bed.”

Lisa: To brush your teeth because I know you’re not even brushing them well.

Bill: Oh my goodness.

Lisa: Well, you know good or bad. Over the years because we’ve had so many conversations with our son, he is incredibly persuasive. He stays calm. He gets his argument together. He is incredibly persuasive. So if I was betting, I’d have to bet on him honestly. Because when he focuses—And this is the thing.

I kid you not, and I didn’t plan to bring this up. My son if he wants to budge us in one direction, he will take his phone and he will research “number of hours a 17 year old needs to sleep”, “circadian rhythms”, and “reasons kids should go to bed later”.

He will come back with a really persuasive argument because he has access to all this information. He knows that he has a voice. That he can come to the table and present an argument and we will consider it. It’s sort of the fruits of my labor of peaceful parenting over the last 14 years.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. I mean that’s, again, exactly how you want someone heading out into the world on their phone. They need to have those skills. That’s fantastic.

Lisa: Yeah. All right. So Bill, thank you so much. This has been so great talking about the upside of phones, technology. I just feel like I want parents, if they’re going to pull the trigger, I want them to feel good about it. Excited, empowered, ready to go. I want them to have ideas in their minds of ways it can connect them to their kids. I want them to know that there is a system out there that can put some guardrails, to use your word which is a great word. Some guardrails in place. I want them to feel really good.

So some things we talked about today are guardrails. We talked about feeling good. We talked about ways to use the phone. We talked about rules and guidelines. So if people want to know more about the Troomi, where can they go?

Bill: Troomi.com. T-R-O-O-M-I.com. Everything is there. That’s where we sell our phones and accessories and service plans, but we also have a lot of resources on there. These topics around parenting with technology, they’re complex. Every family in America. Don’t ever feel like you’re alone because every family in America is dealing with these questions.

So we publish a lot of blog articles with great advice for people and on Instagram and Facebook as well, a lot of content. We’re Troomi Wireless in both of those locations.

Lisa: Yeah, you guys have some great resources there. I have read quite a few of the blogs that you have there. Yeah. You have some great resources. So even if you already have a phone for your kids, go over and have a look at the content over at Troomi. I think it’s worth spending some time. I cut and pasted this testimonial from your website. Someone said, “I love that it still looks like a cool phone but doesn’t have all the things that worry me.”

Bill: Yeah.

Lisa: Yeah. We didn’t talk about this, but not that I intend this whole podcast to be a commercial for you all. But that’s the other cool thing is your phone looks like a smartphone. Well, it is.

Bill: It is. It’s a Samsung phone. Yeah.

Lisa: It doesn’t look like some odd thing where kids across the playground are going to notice. “Hey you know Bill doesn’t have the cool phone. He’s got that brick thing his mother bought him that has two buttons on it.”

Bill: Yeah, no that’s important to kids. It really is.

Lisa: Oh fitting in is everything. We’re at an age where we work hard to stand out, but our kids work hard to fit in. I think as parents the sooner you understand that, that’s another tool in your toolbox. Your kids want to fit in. They don’t always need to and sometimes we have to challenge them to stand out, but in general the desire, the drive is to fit in. So I think it’s another cool feature you guys really worked on as well.

Bill: Thank you. One of the bigger reasons for that too was there was certainly the we wanted something the kids would be happy to carry around, but also it was we wanted them to have great cameras. Because kids, if they’re taking pictures, they want them to be quality pictures. So that was something that was important to us as well.

Lisa: Yeah. The future TikTok influencers want good cameras. All right Bill thank you so much. I think you shared really great ideas and tips and ways that we can feel good about helping our kids dive into the phone world. I think what you guys are doing is fantastic. Protecting children while giving them opportunities to accel in school, enjoy their hobbies, nurture their talents, and discover new passions. So well done.

Bill: Thank you Lisa. Great to be with you.

Lisa: Thank you. So just wrapping up. If you are interested in Troomi, we have a link in the show notes. The link not only will take you to the website, but it will give you a chance to get a discount on the phone if you’re interested in that. So if this is interesting to you, you want to learn more, just click on the link in the show notes and we’ll guide you over there.

I really hope you enjoyed this conversation. I hope whether you’re thinking about getting a phone or your kids already have a phone at any age, I hope what we did today is provide you with an idea, a tip, some insight on how to A, feel good about the phone. B, know how to use it efficiently and effectively, safely with your kids. C, hopefully I also provided you with some insight on ways to connect with your kids through the phone to enhance the connection, right. The connection is when the other person feels seen, heard, and valued.

So think about this. If I love my phone. If I’m 10/12/14/18/25 and I love my phone and you’re sending me jokes like Bill’s daughter or stock tips like my husband or encouraging comments or emojis or gifs, I am going to feel connected to you because I’m going to feel seen, heard, and valued because you’re communicating with me through something that I really love.

So I’m going to leave you with that thought there. I’m going to drop that right there and leave it. Until we meet again, I’m wishing you peaceful parenting.

Thank you so much for listening today. I want to personally invite you to head over to thepeacefulparent.com/welcome and sign up for my free peaceful parenting minicourse. You’ll find everything you need to get started on the path to peaceful parenting just waiting for you over there at www.thepeacefulparent.com/welcome. I can’t wait for you to get started.

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon.


Enjoy the Show?

About the author

Lisa Smith

Get Your Peaceful Parent Holiday Guide Now!

The guide is designed to offer tips, ideas and support to help you stay grounded and peaceful during this holiday season.

You have Successfully Subscribed!