Ep #66: An Invitation to Calm the Chaos in Your Co-Parenting

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to today’s episode. I hope you’re doing really well. We’re getting ready in the Smith household to kick off the club basketball season. My favorite time of the year. So fun and exciting. A clean slate or a long runway of possibilities. It’s just so fun to be a part of it.

As I head into today’s episode, I want you to know that I’m keeping it short and sweet because I really, really, really want you to hear my personal invitation to you. Yes, you. Every single one of you. I have a three day challenge coming up that is a complete game changer for you, your co-parent, and your kids.

But first, let me share with you, as I often say to you, I see you. I see you and you’re not alone. It’s really important to me that you know that. I know that at times things feel out of control in your house. Maybe they are. For you, for your kids, and maybe even at times for your marriage or your co-parenting relationship. I get it. Maybe you feel like you’re doing all the work. You’re exhausted. You’re doing everything and getting very little support, physically and emotionally.

Maybe you feel like your co-parent doesn’t pull his, her, or their weight. They’re always standing back waiting to be told what to do. Maybe you feel like your co-parent sweeps in and escalates the storm that your kids are already having, makes everything worse by screaming at your kids or calling you names or just storming alongside your kids. Remember, I say when a storming parent meets a storming child, there’s going to be an explosion 100% of the time.

Maybe you’re working really hard to help your kids regulate, and your co-parent comes in the room and demands that your kids stop treating your mother that way. Be more respectful, go to your room. If you don’t get off gaming right now, we’re going to throw your gaming console in the pool. You’re looking at your co-parent like hey, not helpful. I was taking the storm down, not ratcheting it up 10 levels.

Or maybe after the storm, your co-parent feels like it’s his, her, or their mission, their entitlement, their responsibility to give you an on the spot performance appraisal of your job as a parent by pointing out everything you’re doing wrong. Or maybe your co-parent tells you all the time that you’re spoiling your kids, or this whole peaceful parent thing you’ve got going on clearly isn’t working. Or your kids need to be punished to learn.

You know this isn’t true. So you fight about it. But you don’t know how to convince them otherwise. Maybe right now you’re thinking yeah, Lis. How about you give me some help? How about you give me the language to convince them? Yeah?

Maybe you think to yourself, “This isn’t how I thought it was gonna be. We got along so well when we were dating and first married before the kids came along.” You so want to do it differently, better, more peacefully, easier, with more fun, and have everybody be connected. Yeah? Maybe you don’t want to feel like you constantly have to choose between your kids side and your co-parent side. You see other families that don’t seem to be struggling, and you think to yourself, “What am I doing wrong?”

Listen to me, I see you. I really, really, really want you to know that I understand the struggle. I get it. If I’m honest with you, which I always try to be, David and I spent many years, many painful years, not on the same page in our co-parenting. We came from different backgrounds. We had different fears. We had different triggers. We had different expectations. We approached our parenting in completely different ways that caused storming and dysregulation and hurt feelings and unmet expectations. I get it.

One of my goals in today’s podcast is for you to simply know that you are not alone. I walk this journey with you. I may be a few steps ahead of you, but I want to assure you we walk the same path. I want you to leave today,  leave this episode, close it out knowing it can be different. You, yes you, can have what you want. You deserve and you can have the family you want and the family you dream about.

Something tells me you’re probably sick and tired of feeling like an angry, frustrated, unsuccessful co-parent. Yeah? I know. The struggle is real for many of us. But when you feel like you’re doing all the work, it’s frustrating, right? I mean, come on. I imagine this is not how you imagined co-parenting would be when you saw that very first plus sign.

I want you to know it’s perfectly normal to think why can’t he/she/they just pitch in more? Why can’t they do it my way? Why can’t they see what I see? Why can’t they listen? Why do they have to come in and escalate things? Why do they have to take a phone call at bath time? Why can’t they offer to do bedtime successfully and get the job done?

If any of this, any of this, is ringing a bell with you, you’re in the right place. I want you to know that we’re going to be talking about all of this and more in my upcoming Keep Calm and Co-parent On challenge. This is the invitation I want you to accept. I beg you. It’s a complete game changer.

This three day challenge lasts, surprise, three days. It’s 100% free. F-R-E-E. I cannot wait to show you how to keep calm so you can find peace in your co-parenting. Yes, it’s possible. I promise. I promise.

I used to feel angry and frustrated by the chaos in my home. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my husband and I on the same page with this whole co-parenting thing. Then I discovered a new approach to peaceful co-parenting. It was a total game changer. I want this for you. Yes, you. All of you. Each and every one of you. Let me say it again. This new peaceful co-parenting approach was a total game changer for me, for my marriage, for my son, for my parenting, for my co-parenting, and for my family.

What I know for sure is that there are many, many, many other parents struggling with the exact same issues you’re struggling with. Remember, we’ve talked about this before, but it bears repeating here. You are not a bad parent, and you are not broken. Neither is your co-parent. You just need some new tools, some new ideas and support. But here’s the asterisk, the fine print. You have to be ready. You have to show up. You have to be open minded. You have to do the work to make the changes. It isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. I promise.

If you are ready right now, I’m here to guide you. I will be with you every step of the way. Because remember, we’re walking the same path. I see you. You’re not alone. I’ve already experienced the massive change that I know is possible. So I’m qualified to guide, support, help, and coach you along your path.

If you feel ready now, like right now, to try to do something different to move forward, then you’re in for a real treat. As we continue to navigate one of the most stressful few years for all of us maybe in our lifetime, maybe in the last couple of decades, I want to help you find peace in your co-parenting. Because I know how challenging these times are for many of us. I know what we’re struggling with in so many different areas of our life.

What I can contribute to you, to your family, and to the world is I can help you find peace in your co-parenting. The first step in all of this is to calm the chaos with my free three day Keep Calm and Co-parent On challenge. It’s 100% free. It’s online, and I designed it specifically for you.

Now here’s the good news. You can participate from anywhere in the world anywhere. Anywhere. If you’re listening to this, you can participate in a three day challenge. It’s a minimal time commitment. It’s one hour a day for three days. That’s all I need from you to create massive change. The three day Keep Calm and Co-parent On challenge is all about understanding why the two of you are not on the same page when it comes to parenting.

The challenge is all about understanding how to fix the problems. The challenge is all about are getting a handle on your frustrations and have an action plan, an actual action plan on moving forward. You will walk away from the three day challenge with an action plan on how to move forward in peaceful co-parenting. In the three day challenge, I’m going to teach you tips, tools, and ideas that are going to move your family instantly from chaos to cooperation.

Here’s how the challenge works. You got to get registered. You’re going to register for the challenge by going to www.thepeacefulparent.com/challenge. Let me say that again. thepeacefulparent.com/challenge.

Once you get registered, you’re going to get the daily challenge reminders and the challenge workbook. As I mentioned, during the challenge, I’m going to give you the exact tips, tools, and support for how to create connection and cooperation in your home. The exact tools that I used to turn around my family and to get David and I on the same page in our co-parent.

Listen, you can join this challenge even if your co-parent lives in a different home, even if you’re not together. This challenge will be incredibly useful. Yes, it’s true. This challenge is going to transform your co-parenting, even if you and your co-parent are not together and don’t live in the same home.

Here’s the 411. You do not need your co-parent to do a single thing. He, she, or they do not need to sign up for this challenge. They don’t need to attend. They don’t even need to know you’re doing this in order for you to have a massive impact on your relationship and your co-parent. Now if they want to attend fantastic. They’re 1,000% welcome. But please hear this, please.

You do not need them to be on to peaceful parenting to agree with your method. You do not need them to attend this challenge, participate, or even agree to create massive cooperation in your relationship and co-parenting journey. I know this may be hard to imagine, believe, or wrap your head around, but I 100% promise you, it’s true. All we need is for you to sign up and be ready for new tips, new ideas, and new tools to calm the chaos in your co-parenting.

Now each of the three days, we’re going to take on a different topic. The challenge starts on Tuesday, April 19, 2022. On day one, we’re going to cover why aren’t we on the same page? On day two, which is going to be Thursday, April 21, we’re going to cover how do I fix this? Then on Saturday, April 23, we’re gonna wrap it all up with the topic of how do we co-parent with peace.

I’m going to go live each day in the challenge twice a day in the Keep Calm and Co-parent pop up Facebook group and over on Zoom. In the morning during the hour long class, I’m going to teach you all the tips, tools, and ideas you need to understand why aren’t we on the same page? How do I fix this? How do we co-parent with peace?

Then I’m going to return to the pop up Facebook group every afternoon on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday to do a live Q&A slash coaching call. This is where you’ll have a chance to come and ask me any and every question you want. Where we can go in depth about how you can fix your co-parenting struggle, and you’ll hear other parents get coached as well.

Being in community and hearing other parents get coach teaches you things like I’m not alone. I’m not the only one facing the struggle. As you listen to me coach other parents, it deepens your learning and your transformation.

In the afternoon Q&A, you’re going to bring all your questions so that we can have a much needed discussion around the topics. Don’t worry. If you sign up and can’t make the live class, the recording is going to be available to you inside the pop up Facebook group for a limited time.

You do not want to miss out on this. So either click on the link in the show notes or head over to thepeacefulparent.com/challenge, and make sure you’re signed up. We get started on Tuesday, April 19. I cannot wait to work with you. This is going to be absolutely transformative in your parenting, in your relationship with your partner, and in your relationship with your kids. I 100% promise. Hey, if you know another parent who would benefit from the challenge, feel free to invite them to join us. The more the merrier.

So let me conclude today was saying you’re not the only one struggling with this. Many, many of us are struggling with co-parenting with peace. My goal the week of April 19 is to help you calm the chaos in your co-parenting. I can’t wait to see you there. I can’t wait to work with you. I’m so proud of you for signing up for this challenge. Until we meet again, I’m wishing you peaceful parenting.

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon.