Ep #100: How These 5 Parents Transformed Their Parenting

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith | How These 5 Parents Transformed Their Parenting

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith | How These 5 Parents Transformed Their Parenting

Today is the 100th episode of the podcast, and that, my friends, is a huge milestone! For 100 weeks, you have joined me for tips, tools, coaching, and support with becoming a more peaceful parent, and I could not be prouder of the work we’ve done together and the progress you’ve made on the path to peaceful parenting.

To celebrate the 100th episode, I wanted to bring you something extra special, and boy, are you in for a treat today! I am joined by a group of amazing, progress-not-perfection parents who are all members of The Hive, and they are here to share their experiences of being in The Hive and how their parenting has changed as a result.

Tune in this week to hear how these moms are using the tools I teach daily in their homes, parenting, and with their children. Hear the dramatic changes they’ve experienced since joining The Hive, the struggles they faced before they joined, and what they’re most proud of in their new way of parenting. They also share their advice for anybody thinking about joining The Hive or getting on the path to peaceful parenting, so you don’t want to miss this episode.


If you want to take the next step to become a better parent, come and check out The Hive. It’s a one-of-a-kind community that serves parents who want ongoing support with their peaceful parenting journey and gives you everything you need to move along the path to peaceful parenting. Ready to become the parent you’ve always wanted to be? Click here to join The Hive now, I cannot wait to welcome you to the community.


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why showing more confidence with your children enables them to feel safer.
  • A hugely important part of the peaceful parenting journey.
  • What you are denying yourself when trying to fix other people.
  • How it was for them working on their children’s big feelings while working on their own.
  • The importance of figuring out your child’s connection language so you can build connection in a way that suits them.
  • How they’ve all learned to build better connection with their children.
  • One of the most beautiful gifts you can give to your children.


Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • Click here to sign up for my free Peaceful Parenting mini-course! You’ll find everything you need to continue on the path to peaceful parenting over there just waiting for you. 
  • If you have a suggestion for a future episode or a question you’d like me to answer on the show, email us or message us on Instagram.


Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to today’s episode. Boy, are you in store for a real treat today. Because first off, let me say today is the 100th episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, and that, my friends, is a milestone. For 100 weeks, I have brought you tips and tools and coaching and support on the path to peaceful parenting. I could not be more proud of you or me. I could not be more proud of the work we’ve done here together, and the progress you’ve made on the path to peaceful parenting.

So I wanted to treat you to something extra special today. Today, I am joined by a group of amazing progress not perfection parents who are all members of The Hive. As The Hive is my membership community where we work on the path to peaceful parenting, where we work on connecting with our kids to get maximum cooperation, where we move away from commanding and expecting compliance from our kids.

I thought that it would be a real treat for you today to hear from actual Hive members who are using these tools day in and day out in their homes with their parenting, with their co-parents, and with their children. So without further ado, let me welcome Juliana, Dina, Viv, Dominique, Tina, and Katie. Over the next few minutes, we’re going to take a little trip on their journey of peaceful parenting.

First of all, let me say thank you all so much, so, so, so much for being here. I’m so thrilled to have you all as guests on the podcast and just share your story. So let’s jump in. Let’s start with Dina. The first thing that we’re going to talk about is where were you started on this journey. So share with us, Dina, where you were at in your words before you found The Hive, the podcast, peaceful parenting, and myself.

Dina: Well, thank you Lisa for having me on today. I’m really excited to be able to talk and share my experiences with other people. This is a fantastic group to be part of. but where was I before? I felt alone. I really felt like there was no other people that were going through some of the things that I was going through in my parenting journey. I was looking for support.

It was loud in my house. There was a lot of screaming and yelling. There was a lot of just difficulties all over the place with my daughter. I didn’t know where to turn to. So I was looking for tools and how to make things better because I didn’t like where it was anymore. I didn’t like the yelling, the screaming. Nothing seemed fun anymore. so I was really feeling alone and out of touch.

Lisa: Okay, yes, very common. That feeling alone, right? I think a lot of us can relate to that. listener, if you feel alone, it’s easy because there’s so much shame and guilt around all that stress in the household that we tend to not want to talk about it because it doesn’t feel safe. that isolates us even further and causes us to feel alone. So thank you, Dina, for being so open and sharing that. Viv, tell us about where you started.

Viv: So it was about three years ago. It was right when COVID was hitting. my oldest at the time would have been around nine years old. I felt like being an angry mom was just my lot in life. Like I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know if I could fix it. I just thought it would be something that I would always have.

then I jumped on a free masterclass with you. all of a sudden it was like there is something else out there possible. I can go on this journey of peaceful parenting, and I can learn tools, and I can begin to understand my own thoughts. so therefore, peaceful parenting was a possibility. I know I was definitely an angry mom. I would yell to get my kid’s attention. I always wanted my kids to do it right. I was constantly using punishments. Punishments, punishments. If you didn’t do it right then you’re gonna get a punishment.

Now I know, I was missing that connection with them. that is something that I really wanted but didn’t know how to get to. So it’s like I wanted to get from A to B, but I didn’t think I could, and I didn’t know how. So joining The Hive and working with you, it’s like the how became possible. the connection became a reality instead of just a hope.

Lisa: Connection became a reality instead of just hope. That’s so beautiful. I think that it happens a lot in families. We know what we want, and we just don’t know how to get it. I think that’s one of the beautiful things when a parent takes a leap and takes a chance on getting some tools, no matter whether they’re with me or someone else, I just feel so much hope for the world. Because yeah, like you said, you thought it was your lot in life to be an angry parent and that connection. You just needed some guidance. You just needed someone to say try this, do this, don’t do that. Think about this. Approach it this way. boom, magic happened, right?

Viv: Absolutely. Connection.

Lisa: Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Dominique, tell us your story.

Dominique: So my house was just angry and overwhelming. I just felt like I was always yelling to be heard. I felt like my kids were coming up in kind of the same situation that I was where fear was how my household was ruled. I don’t want that for my kiddos because I want them to be emotionally stable humans when they grow up.

So I had just been just so angry and just looking for a way to make peace in my household without all of the screaming and all of the threatening and the spanking. Because I never wanted to be a spanking parent, but I did what I learned growing up, and I hated it. I hated being that parent.

So now, I have learned connection with my kids, which is great for them and great for me. Because I come home to not screaming and yelling and begging them to cooperate with me. We sit and we have a conversation about what we need to do. we talk about our days together. then we accomplish all of the tasks that have to be accomplished in the evening.

it’s like night and day from what I started with and where I am now. I just, like a lot of people, found a masterclass for free and joined it. in a little less than a year, I feel like my parenting has gone from angry and demanding and dominant to peace and connection. I enjoy the time I get with my kids so much more because of peaceful parenting.

Lisa: Dominique, that makes my heart sing. I don’t think I’ll sleep for a week after this, recording this with you all. I mean seriously I hope I can hold this together during this because just to hear that. Sometimes I hear people say things like the world is going to H-E double toothpick in a handbasket. I’m like no, it’s not. There’s so many parents out there fighting for their kids to be able to identify their emotions and understand their needs.

Just hearing you all talk makes me so optimistic for our kids future because we’re breaking cycles. We’re doing it differently. We’re showing up in a completely different way for our kids. In a completely different way. it’s going to change the world. Right, Tina? Tell us your story.

Tina: Yeah, so mine is actually very similar to Dominique. Before I joined The Hive, I felt like I was just stuck at a continuous cycle. Pretty much two of them. One was the cycle of the generational yelling that I grew up in that household. like, while I love my parents and they love me, I think that that’s probably also a cycle that they picked up on too. So.

When I became a parent, almost immediately I saw that cycle start to occur in my parenting. I didn’t know anything different. So I felt like I was in the cycle with my parenting of just yelling at this innocent small child. I will try and hold it together as well. She’s completely innocent, and she’s receiving this treatment that is just—

I looked at her one day, and she was responding to me and people around her the way that I responded to her when I couldn’t hold it together. I looked at her, and I was like this will not be your life. it was just like meant to be. Like that same week I’m just googling like podcasts, and I found yours and went to the masterclass. I was in a cycle, and I feel like I’m 95% out of it. So.

Lisa: Yeah. Tina, I remember the day I met you. I remember the day I met all of you. Like it’s In my brain interacting with you in the masterclass and then Peaceful Parenting 101, and then you know you joining The Hive. To see the growth. it’s not even for me as much the growth as the confidence that you have in your parenting and the approach in your home. It doesn’t matter what I think. It matters how you feel about your parenting because when you feel at peace and calm and confident in parenting. Like I have the tools to withstand the storm. I know exactly what to do. You start to model that, and that is a game changer for your children.

That confidence, I can feel it even in my own parenting. How I approach my son. The confidence I have in the connection and the guidance, and it changes the dynamic in the home, even if the other parent isn’t participating. Right? Even if the other parent, or there isn’t a parent in the home. Maybe you’re co-parenting in two separate homes.

That confidence you bring to your children, it’s like they feel safer because my parent’s got it. They know what they’re doing. They’re resting in the security of knowing how to calmly approach things. I imagine, to the child, it just feels so much safer than that frenetic storming alongside the parent, right? All right, Juliana, tell us your story.

Juliana: Thank you so much Lisa and fellow moms to allow me to be here. I want your listeners to know that I dressed up for our occasion because I really wanted my outside and my heart showing the respect that I am feeling for you, and for the beautifulness of how life turned around in our household. Although they don’t see my outside, I wanted you to understand it. Also to my necklace and all the beautiful things that you brought in our life.

So you are asking how our household looked like. My story is very similar to Viv’s story. I found you during that COVID time. I was searching. I was searching for any type of help at that point because our household, just like the other moms were sharing here, was very loud. There were days that I believed that my neighbors at the corner will knock at our door because they hear that during homework time or this whole homeschooling time, I am yelling at my child. That you don’t understand me. Pay attention. Stay calm, focus, focus, and just do it.

this was the time that I really started searching. like the others, I found this type of parenting on the internet. without any hesitation, I signed up. Probably during those three occasions, the Monday, Wednesday, and Friday that you are offering in the masterclass, I made like a half a book full of notes. I started reading it also on our day offs. something just spoke to me that this is it. This is what I was searching for.

Then you offered that we can sign up that you have a program, and the program’s name is The Hive. I didn’t hesitate for a second. I signed up right there and there. from that moment on, I changed the energy in our household. I changed the way of communication in our household.

The other major thing in our house was that I was always fearful and always had this giant feeling on my heart sitting there very heavy on my shoulders that something is just about to happen. I was at the edge of a breakdown. what am I going to do? How am I going to handle it? Because I read all the parenting books. I was trying to find local helps here, like a counselor or a psychiatrist, but they did not understand the type of the problems that I had with my son.

So when I found you, when I heard the principles that you are teaching, it instantly clicked with me like the key in a lock. I was able to use these techniques instantly from day one. I’m very, very grateful for this.

Lisa: Well, you look beautiful. So thank you for dressing up. I love how much you want to convey this Juliana. I can’t help us touch on this. I am curious, Juliana and anyone else who wants to chime in here. You said no one understood what you were going through. you thought that you needed tools to fix your son, but let’s all kind of have a chuckle about this. One of the things we quickly figure out is the person that we really need to work on is not our kid or kids, but the starting point is us. Right? We have to get ourselves regulated so that we can come alongside and co-regulate with our children, and then they can eventually regulate themselves. Yeah?

Juliana: Right. That’s absolutely correct. At my workplace, we used to have a beautiful bag. Then the writing on the bag was that it’s all about me. in this case, really it comes back to this basic that it’s all about me. with your teaching, if I am staying regulated, then I can show up and be the parent from that headspace for my kid when my kid is going through the tantrums, the loud voices, and then he is dysregulated.

this is the first step that it took me also longer, I think. But I understood that golden rule that I’m only able to change myself. I’m only really in charge of myself. But if I do this, if I do your principles, your advice, your views, then it gets easier and easier because it’s like a muscle that we are using daily. I can get stronger. My self-confidence goes up. My belief about the good enough mother that I am goes up.

Lisa: I love that. I love that. Dina, you want to add something to that?

Dina: Yeah, just listening to her talk. I’m sitting here saying how many times now when my daughter starts to storm, I look at her and I say wow, she’s just having a hard time. She’s not giving me a hard time. She’s just having a hard time. I just give her the space. I pause for a minute and let her just have her big emotions instead of jumping in and trying to fix it or talk through it or whatever. I just kind of stepped back and let it happen, which keeps me regulated and lets her feel her emotions.

it’s just now a beautiful thing where before I just wanted to like jump all over or fix it, or I had something to say back about what she was doing. now, I just step back and just let it happen because she needs to feel her emotions. I can just be there to support her and validate her and say yes, I hear you. I hear that this is difficult, and just give her the space to move through it.

Lisa: That’s really big growth for you, isn’t it?

Dina: Yes, it is very big growth. there’s a lot of times where I still want to jump in and fix it. I mean, there’s been sad times. It’s really hard as a parent to watch your child really be sad about something. My child switched schools. The day she did it, it was like she’s in tears. I’m in tears, but yet I’m just letting her talk about how hard it is as we’re walking out of the school.

I’m just validating it for her as she’s very emotional when I just want to fix it and say oh, it’ll be okay. You’ll love your new school, whatever. But I didn’t do that. I just let her feel her emotion because I didn’t know what it was going to be like. I just wanted her to know that she was safe, and she was being heard.

Lisa: Well, I can’t help but add in what all humans want is to feel seen, heard, and valued. We don’t necessarily want every problem to be fixed. That’s not a core basic need. Fix my problems is not a core basic need. What is, is hear me, see me, value me.

So when I’m scared and I’m eight years old and I’m scared and upset that I’m leaving a school because I can’t see that it’s going to be better for me. you’re just there to let me be sad. You give me space. I feel seen heard and valued. Then I want to cooperate more down the road. I feel more connected. cooperation follows connection.

So it takes some work. It takes some practice. As Juliana said we have to build that muscle right. But when we get there, there’s real connection with our children rather than fixing their problem, solving it for them, commanding them into compliance, stuffing their feelings down, getting mad at them when they have big emotions, all of that. It’s beautiful. It’s beautiful. Dominique, tell me what you think about this.

Dominique: So kind of going off of both Juliana and Dina’s message is that I also like, had to make myself give them space because I was also. I’m a recovering perfectionist. so I always want to go in and fix and jump and also saying I’m sorry, but. That’s something that I’ve had to really work on because that’s not an apology. that’s something that really when I heard it through the class saying I’m sorry but is not really an apology. I do that and did that all the time. So now I’m really learning to say I’m sorry, and that’s it.

Lisa: That is a whole sentence. I am sorry. There’s a noun and a verb in there and a period at the end.

Dominique: Yes. Also how connection with everyone. I mean, this whole experience, The Hive has taught me how to connect with people, not just my kiddos. But letting and understanding that everyone is just trying to get a need met at any given moment in time. that realization is paramount because I’m a fixer. I have to fix everything. But that’s not necessarily what everybody needs. It’s just letting people have their emotions and have their everyday life.

In the position that I’m in where I’m kind of the middle person in management, these are tools that I needed not just for my kiddos, but for my everyday life. So it’s been huge for me to really understand that not everybody is just trying to frustrate you or have a bad—Everybody’s having their own space that they have their own stuff going on. being able to hold space for people and my kids and just everyone in my life that needs that has been huge for me because I wasn’t able to do that before.

Lisa: Gosh, I love that. We do say in The Hive that a rising tide lifts all boats, and The Hive is the rising tide. if you’re doing this work, to your point, every relationship in your life will get better, including the one you have with yourself. as you were talking, I’m having an aha moment right now. Because what I just had the thought of is that when I am trying to fix other people, right, which I don’t really do any more. I’m also a recovering people pleaser.

But I think when one is trying to fix other people, the other thing you’re denying yourself is an opportunity to feel your feelings, right. If I’m up in your business trying to fix everything you’re quote doing wrong, I’m not giving myself any space to feel my feelings. One thing we talk about in the community is that peaceful parenting is when we’re trying for everyone to get their needs met. Right? everyone’s feelings matter. so I need to take my feelings into account. Right.

So Dina, you were saying when your daughter switched schools, I’m sure that that unknown of is she going to be happy? Is this the right decision? She’s so sad. I feel bad about this. It wasn’t your daughter’s decision. It was your decision. Right?

we have to give ourselves space as parents. Big feelings come up. It is hard, right? We can all agree it is hard to watch our kids fall down, be disappointed, be mad, hurt their sibling, be upset, be rejected, not get the part in the play, be excluded from a birthday party, have to change schools, be called the name, not have co-parents show up on time. Like that’s hard to watch as a parent.

part of what we have to do is feel our own feelings rather than avoid them, buffer them by going into fix it mode. I think that that is an important part of the journey is getting in touch with our own feelings. Right, Dina? That’s been a large part of what you’ve had to do, right? Wouldn’t you say?

Dina: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. As you were talking, I was remembering my one really big aha moment, which was we were talking about healing your inner child wounds. I remember the day that I sat there and said well, why was I always yelling? Why does that bother me so much? I remembered that it’s because that’s what was happening to me when I was a younger child. I used to go up into my room, and I would hear my parents yelling all night long. I never really put two to two together because I had kind of locked that door and closed it away.

So in this journey, I was able to open that and really have a moment and really understand why that just put this feeling in me. then I would get very defensive, and it was scared. It was really scared. Even though my daughter’s eight years old, she’s yelling, and I’m getting scared because it’s like I’m that little kid again. it took me a long time to get past that, but like the moment I had that aha moment it was like wow.

The connection and how I feel about it now. when she still gets loud for me to turn around and say sweetie, can we bring the volume down a little bit? I’ve shared with her too what happened to me as a kid and why it bothers me too. So we have a much bigger, better connection on this.

Lisa: That’s beautiful. Okay, now listen y’all, let me tell you something. I have not met a mama with a daughter with bigger feelings than Tina. Tina, our first few coaching calls. When you would describe your little girl, I thought wow, now there’s a full contact work. So talk to me about what it’s been like for you to accept and work with her big feelings while working on your own. just where you in this journey?

Tina: Yeah, this goes exactly in line with what you guys were saying of it starts like I’m working on myself. When I initially started joining the calls, I was looking for advice of like okay, what can I do to fix her? really, very quickly I realized like it’s like 99.9% of the work is going to be me. then it just has naturally fallen into place.

When I work on my big emotions, my daughter’s big emotions mirror mine. Literally, when I first joined The Hive, I was exploding at least probably once or twice a week. now it’s maybe, maybe once a month. I wouldn’t even say every month. It’s at a much, much reduced level. my daughter has just fallen right along with that.

It hasn’t even been a year, but I can’t even put into words how proud I am of her that I haven’t really had to do anything for her. It’s really just been me changing what I’m doing. She’s my mini me. She mirrors mama, everything that I do. So I knew that I had to work on both people, but it’s just amazing. I don’t want to say how simple because it all is in the grand scheme of things is quite complex, but just working on myself. It just has been a natural falling into place. she’s pretty much mirrored me on my journey. it’s beautiful.

Lisa: I think that’s a beautiful explanation of modeling. We talk a lot about that in The Hive, right? Modeling. Because we do model for our children. Our children don’t do what we say. They do what we do. Right? also, Tina, I think you expressed it so beautifully. The tools really are simple. They’re just not easy to implement. Right? They take commitment. They take work.

That’s why I love the product, if you will, of The Hive because you get three chances a week to come and ask questions, get coaching, listen to someone else get coached. If Dina’s talking, right, Viv can listen and say oh, where does that apply to me? Oh, they’re talking to my inner child. I didn’t even know that I had some inner child issues I need to work through. then the following week, you think about it. You reflect. You see what comes up. it’s also just, it’s an ongoing journey.

I always think of parenting, any really, self-development is like an onion.  You peel back the outer layer, and there’s another layer and then another layer and another layer. that’s why I think the ongoing coaching is just so useful. If you drop out for a couple of weeks because life gets busy, and there’s a school play and soccer is going on and then you hit a bump in the road. It’s like oh, let me just touch base with The Hive and get right back on track.

We literally, a couple of weeks ago, had a mom that got called from her school, her kid’s school. Her daughter I think is in kindergarten or first grade. she got that first phone call, right. That come to the office. The mom goes to the office. The school reports the daughter did such and such. The mom’s driving home. She’s thinking I don’t know what to do.

Her text message chimes that there’s a Hive call. She goes home and gets on The Hive call, and we work through exactly what to do. she reports the next day that it went beautifully. She was able to regulate herself. Really think about what the consequences could or should or maybe not be. She ended up working with it on her child. Her coparent came home. She was able to help him regulate, and they were able to get right back on track in a meaningful way.

That’s why we say progress, not perfection, right? We’re not going for perfection here. We’re going for progress. So tell us what it’s been like for you as a mom of four kids dissecting or figuring out your four different styles and personalities and how to connect with each kid in a different, but meaningful way. Can you speak to that?

Viv: Yeah, so my oldest is strong willed, and my youngest is strong willed. then I’ve got the two in the middle that are pretty peaceful. But one of the things, I tend to get the most coaching around my oldest son. He’s my first so there’s a lot of learning to do there. But I’ve also asked for coaching on just how to connect with the middle two.

so in particular with my daughter, my son is very much words. We have lots of conversations, and that’s how we connect. But when it comes to my daughter, it’s not words. She does not like to be asked questions. If I ask her something, everything is I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m just like can we go under the I don’t know? Can we peel it back a little bit.

so in coaching with you, I realized that if I could share a journal with her and go back and forth that that would be a way to connect. It was Mother’s Day, and she put the journal on my pillow. she said, “Mom, I had a really hard day.” I had gotten a watch for Mother’s Day. So I’d pass my watch to my son, and my son passed his watch to his brother. she said, “I didn’t get a watch. I was really upset.” I would have had no idea because I thought the day was great. We went for a hike, and we had a great day.

I was just so thankful that she was able to express that. then we were able to connect and talk. well, actually we wrote back and forth. We didn’t talk, but I wouldn’t have otherwise known that. So it’s been so beautiful to figure out how to come alongside each kid. Like peaceful parenting is that definition of coming alongside of them. I really appreciate it understanding what that means and what that looks like and filling their love tank in the way that they need their love tank filled.

Lisa: That’s so great. That’s so great. Yeah, I’ve never met someone that has four kids who are so different as yours. it’s been really beautiful to watch you connect with each one of them. Connect in their connection language, which is different oftentimes for our children. Right?

There’s more podcasts to come about that because I’m really working on that right now is helping parents connect. You have to connect in your child’s connection language. it’s different for each person and different for each kid. So figuring that out and connecting with them in that way has really brought a lot of closeness, it feels like, to your family. Like everybody in your family feels understood. Yes?

Viv: Yes. it’s different for each one of them. I mean for my oldest, it’s taking him out and going get something to eat.

Lisa: Walk to the 711 and get buffalo POP chips.

Viv: Yep. Buffalo POP chips and walk to the park and just talk to each other and connect. With my daughter, it’s the journal. With my son who, number three, he’s a lot like me where he’s a rule follower. He likes to keep things peaceful. at first, I wasn’t sure how to connect with him. But in one of somebody else getting coaching, I realized like with him it’s the little gifts. It’s little things.

Like it’s right now for November, we’re doing this thing about dinosaurs. I hide a dinosaur every day, and he has to find it. He is loving that. His dinosaur was in his lunchbox today. he’s like I’m taking it to school. Make sure you bring it back. But just finding each way. Then my youngest, his is just physical touch. before it used to kind of trigger me the constant like touching. But then learning like okay, this is what he needs. He needs me to give him a big hug. we do the squeezy hugs. Like 10 seconds and we count, and he squeezes, and then we can be done.

Lisa: There you go.

Viv: Go on and play. so him being a lot like my oldest, I can just see how I’m parenting him so differently. his storms, which used to be humongous, are now so short. I realized like this is not going to last forever. This is going to be really short. we’re both going to be able to move on. so it’s been learning for each of them how to connect. That’s really been a gift.

Lisa: Yeah. If you are given those squeezy hugs to your daughter, that would be a disaster. Right? So just figuring all that out. Okay, let’s wrap up with this question. Tell our listeners. Tell someone who’s thinking of doing this work, who’s thinking of jumping in like oh, I love what Viv and Dominique and Tina had to say, and what Juliana said really spoke to me. I feel like Dina and I are soul sisters when she talks. That’s where I’m at right now. maybe just maybe I should jump in and do this. What advice would you have or what would you tell anyone who is thinking of working with me, of joining The Hive, or getting on the path to peaceful parenting? What do you want them to know?

Dina: They’re not alone. when you get into this community, I’m gonna get emotional here. There’s such an amazing support. It makes you really understand that it’s progress over perfection. You’re still going to make mistakes, but you’re going to be able to learn and use those tools to have such a better connection with your child or children, and bring yourself up too along the way. I’ve changed so much in this last past year, and seen so much that I now can share and be more connected with my daughter.

Lisa: So great. Dominique, what would be your words?

Dominique: It is so worth it. The journey that you set on in peaceful parenting is so worth it. Because talking to my kiddos the other night, and we’re talking about my mom. she asked why. One of my daughters asked why don’t me and my mom get along so well sometimes. I can’t remember exactly what the conversation was about. But I told her, I was like you remember how I used to yell all the time and scream and how it was just very chaotic in our house? That’s kind of how I grew up.

I said, in your opinion, are things different now? They said, “Oh, yes Mommy. You seem so happy now.” I said, I am happy now. I am much happier now. they said and we love to talk to you. We love to just spend time with you without worrying about what’s not getting done. I said I enjoy it too. I love spending time with you guys and relaxing with you guys. So the journey is so worth it. The growth is so worth it.

Lisa:  Oh, Dominique, when they recognized that I mean, you must have just melted.

Dominique: Absolutely melted, and I’m gonna cry. But.

Lisa: I think one of the most beautiful gifts. I probably don’t talk about this enough. But I think one of the most beautiful gifts we can give our children is for our children to see us happy, no matter the circumstances, right? I mean life isn’t happy every moment. There’s tragedy, there’s loss, there’s things that happen. But if over the course of 18 years your children get to see you enjoy life, be happy, I think it’s one of the greatest models we can give our kids.

this was honestly, again, I don’t think I’ve talked about this enough. But one of my motivations when Malcolm was little is I just felt grumpy and angry around him all the time. when I reflect back on my childhood, everybody that I grew up with, everybody was angry all the time. I just didn’t want that for him. I wanted him to see me at my best. they learned from that. Again, modeling, modeling, modeling, modeling. Yeah. Tina, what would you want someone to hear that’s on this journey?

Tina: I mean, echoing what everyone has said, it literally is life changing. Like it’s not just like a catchphrase. It literally has changed our household. Like if anyone has hesitations of reasons that they’re like oh, I don’t know. Like my two hesitations were time. Will I be able to join the calls because I work?

To that I would say, I don’t know if I’ve been on the call in six months. I listen to the recordings, and it still has drastically changed my parenting because so much of what the moms have gone through, it’s going on in similar but somewhat different situations, but the coaching that you give Lisa is so applicable. I join the calls when I can but there’s still so much benefit to listening to the recordings.

then the other hesitation of the cost, I would say I have been through a lifetime of therapy. it is literally pennies compared to what I have invested in therapy, and the outcomes and the growth and the progress that I’ve received from The Hive is just so significant compared to anything else. really if you think about what’s it worth for me to change myself and my child, for what you pay, it’s just the investment impact for your child and your family. So I would say do it.

Lisa: Hm, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thank you. That’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. Viv, what would you say?

Viv: So, two things come to mind. I really enjoyed how you have explained brain science. I can remember the moment in my room where I don’t remember the circumstance, but my thought was I don’t know how to do this. like I instantly caught myself, and I was like that thought does not serve me at all. I do know what to do because I was growing and just my confidence in parenting. then my very next thought was and if I don’t, I will ask Lisa or I will jump on a Hive call and I will get the help that I need. I will find it. I can do it.

the other thing that comes to mind if someone’s kind of hesitating is the acceptance that we learn about accepting our child’s light side and their shadow side, it was very much at the beginning of peaceful parenting. My oldest had done something that it was really tough, and we needed to kind of work through. But I remember having that conversation and being able to look at him and say no matter what, I love you just the way you are. No matter what you do, I will always love you just the way you are. I saw his whole body just like relax and like he’d kind of released all of that.

I keep coming back to just that connection of being able to say that to him and to mean that and to accept him like just the way that he is. This is a process problem. This isn’t a character problem. That I always come back to that connection of just I knew I wanted that. I just didn’t know how to get there.

But so many instances now that I’ve been able to have that, most particularly with him, of just being able to accept him as he presents and to know that he’s a strong willed kid and he’s going to change the world. that I love him just the way that he is, and that he can feel that from me and believe that when I say that to him.

Lisa: So great. Yeah. All right, Julianna, tell us what sage advice you would share with someone thinking of jumping into this world after hearing today’s episode.

Juliana: I definitely would say that you and the team and the group is like our best friend. just like any best friend in the world, no matter where you are, if you are located in New Zealand or you are in Europe or here in America. Sometimes best friends are not just telling us what we want to hear. Actually truer a friend is they are telling it even deeper and in a very honest way what they need to hear.

Many times to hear what we need to hear and what we need to change or what’s the new technique or another way to think about the situation that pops up is not easy. It’s very hard. It makes us tear down. It makes us think about am I good enough. it’s going to be hard either way. But then this is the right type of hard that moves us forward.

So, again, if you are hesitant, wherever you hear this message you know that you might not be understanding the techniques, or it’s not going to be what you need. I can only make the analog that what you are offering and what the team is offering here is getting that manual that we all wish to have gotten in the hospital. So when we arrived home and that door is closing, and you are now and now what? This is the book. This is the voice. This is the basics that we always need to go back.

Lisa: Beautiful. Thank you. Yes.

Juliana: Thank you.

Lisa: All right, this was wonderful, exceeded my wildest dreams. You guys hit on all the points that I had hoped we would and then some. I just feel so honored. I didn’t really know that you all felt this way. I mean.

Viv: Can I just say from the bottom of my heart how thankful I am for the way that you changed our family and went on this journey with me and have been there holding space and giving me the tools that I need. I am so, so thankful that you came into our lives right when we needed you to. I just appreciate all the work that you pour into The Hive and you pour into our community and all the work that you pour into us and just how that is truly changing families one family at a time around the world. It is invaluable work, and I’m just so grateful and thankful.

Lisa: I appreciate that.

Viv: Sure.

Lisa: I hear that. Can I tell you this? What’s weird about this whole thing? Honest to God, it’s not hard work. That I mean, it’s hours, yes. You know what I mean? But like I’ve done hard work before. You know I’ve had jobs that were hard. It’s almost like it just comes to me. I don’t know. It’s weird. It’s hard to explain. It’s like I’m doing what I’m exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t find it exhausting. I don’t find it difficult. I don’t find it tiresome.

Sometimes my husband’s like are you done with that yet? I’m like no, I’m not. I get really excited about The Hive calls and the transformation. When I meet someone, and then months later they’re doing the work effortlessly within their family. I just… So I appreciate it. I’m very happy that I met you all. It feels like I’m doing the work I’m meant to do. So I guess that’s a good thing, right? It means I keep doing it.

Viv: Yeah, keep doing it.

Lisa: Well, I am honored to have you all join me today. I’m so pleased that we got a chance to talk about this because the goal really today was to inspire one family. To let everybody know you’re not alone in this journey, and it’s never too late to join. I don’t care what age your kids are. You’re not broken. You just need new tools to show up differently in your parenting.

the real goal of today’s 100th episode was to say to you, as the listener, well done. You’re showing up. You’re listening. You’re putting the tools into work. if you feel ready, ready to take the next step, ready to join a community, ready to not feel alone, ready to have someone hold space for you, ready to get on the path to peaceful parenting, please accept the invitation. On behalf of all of us, please accept the invitation to come and join The Hive. You won’t regret it.

There’s absolutely no obligation. what lies once you join is community, is support, is coaching, is transformation. So if this speaks to you in any way, go right now to thehivecoaching.com, thehivecoaching.com, and join. Just do it. Just join. There’s no obligation. You can cancel it anytime. You can come and kick the tires. You can meet Tina and Viv and Dominique and Juliana and Dina and see if what they said is really true, which it will turn out to be true.

But here’s my challenge to you. Here’s your homework. If this speaks to you at all, don’t hesitate. Just join and come to one of the calls and get on the path to peaceful parenting. All right, everybody, I hope you enjoyed listening to these parents as much as I did. I adore you all. I’m so grateful that you were here today. listener I’m grateful for you too. until we meet again, I’m wishing you peaceful parenting.

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon.


Enjoy the Show?

About the author

Lisa Smith

Get Your Peaceful Parent Holiday Guide Now!

The guide is designed to offer tips, ideas and support to help you stay grounded and peaceful during this holiday season.

You have Successfully Subscribed!