Ep #112: Creating Your Parental Job Description

Real World Peaceful Parenting Lisa Smith | Creating Your Parental Job Description

Many of us consider our identity to be directly linked to what we do, the roles we play, or what we have done in the past. When the things that we do change, either by will or by circumstances out of our control, we often feel lost. We struggle to shed the old identity and create a new identity, and this leads to dysregulation, especially when dealing with our kids.

As a parent, the role you play at home has a completely different job description from the role you play at your corporate job. Different tools are required for different jobs, and it is so important that as parents, we take the time to consider this, and think about what needs to go into our parental job description.

In this episode, I show you how to write your parenting job description and three things that I believe you should prioritize on your list. Learn what new tools you can put in your toolbox to get closer to the parent you want to be and how this concept can completely change your life. Whatever transition you are struggling with right now, what I’m teaching you this week is sure to help.


If you want to take the next step to become a better parent, come and check out The Hive. It’s a one-of-a-kind community that serves parents who want ongoing support with their peaceful parenting journey and gives you everything you need to move along the path to peaceful parenting. Ready to become the parent you’ve always wanted to be? Click here to join The Hive now, I cannot wait to welcome you to the community.


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What confirmation bias is and how it might show up for you.
  • Some examples of how to write a job description for your parenting.
  • Why sitting and writing our your parental job description can be so transformative.
  • The importance of modeling for your kids.
  • Your number one responsibility as a successful parent.
  • The reason change can feel so scary.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:

  • Click here to sign up for my free Peaceful Parenting mini-course! You’ll find everything you need to continue on the path to peaceful parenting over there just waiting for you. 
  • If this episode spoke to you, or you have a suggestion for a future episode or a question you’d like me to answer on the show, email us or message us on Instagram.
  • Ep #68: A Different Way to Look at Unconditional Love


Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-step strategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos to cooperation. Let’s dive in. 

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to today’s episode. I want to start out by thanking you on behalf of your kids for joining me today for putting the time in today’s episode. I want to begin today with giving a Real World Peaceful Parenting shout out to Brightsmilerdh for leaving a review on Apple podcast.

This parent wrote, “HOLY COW,” all in caps. “I love your episodes. I always get so much out of them, but episode 68 hit home so hard. This is one I will listen to repeatedly because it’s huge. Thank you so much for this episode and discussing this deep subject.” I just want to give a personal big thanks to Brightsmilerdh and all of you, every single one of you who’ve taken the time to rate and review Real World Peaceful Parenting podcast.

I sincerely appreciate the feedback. I really do. But more importantly, the reason I really want to thank you is because when you take the time to rate and review the podcast, what you’re really doing is you’re paying it forward to other families. 

You see when you leave a review, the services like Apple podcast or Google or Stitcher is more likely to recommend this podcast when people are looking for a parenting resource. So when you take the time to leave a review, or you take the time to rate the podcast, you’re paying it forward to other families and children who really need their parents to hear this information. For that reason, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for helping me change the world one family at a time.

So if you wouldn’t mind, if you haven’t already and you’re listening to this episode, would you please go and leave a review and rate the podcast? I would be really grateful. 

Now, today I want to talk about job description. Yes, job description. Our parental job description. Some of you might be like what? Now, let me ask you. Are you embarking on or are you in the throes of a big transition in your life? Maybe you have a new job. There’s a lot of job changes going on right now. Maybe you have a new baby. Maybe you’ve added a new dog to your family. Maybe you’ve quit your job, or you’re transitioning to working from home back to the office every day, or you’re transitioning from the office back to the home. 

I have a girlfriend who went back to work today after being at home for 12 years. She was running an online at home business, and now she’s gone back to her corporate job after 12 years. We were talking about this recently, about embarking on a big transition. Maybe recently you’re separated or you’re getting a divorce, or in some way you’re being forced to figure out how to do all the parenting on your own for the first time. Or maybe there’s no new big transition in your everyday life, but you’ve been feeling unsatisfied with the way some parts of your life had been going. 

Maybe you’re longing for a change in your job. You want to do your parenting differently. I mean hey, that’s probably why you’re here. You realize that your relationship, your romantic close personal relationship could use some work, or your physical health needs an overhaul. Or you’ve realized your finances aren’t getting the job done. If you answered yes to any of these questions, which I’m pretty sure you might have because you fit into one of those categories, today’s episode is designed specifically for you. 

Many of us consider our identity to be directly linked to what we do, to the roles we play, or what we have done in the past. This is really our identity. So when the things we do have to change, either by will or by circumstances outside of our control, we often feel lost because we struggle to shed the old identity and create a new identity. This differential inevitably leads to dysregulation, especially when we’re dealing with our kids. 

Because we cannot feel our feet firmly planted beneath us, we easily get triggered and we end up storming at our kids right alongside our kids. Sometimes our kids feed off of this energy, this insecurity, this change in the identity. So they storm, which triggers us to storm. 

To make things worse, if your new life transition was forced upon you, maybe you’re telling yourself this is such a big deal. Or maybe you’re telling yourself that you just don’t know what to do. I can’t handle this. It’s hard. I wasn’t expecting this. So you stay stuck and not do anything. Are you someone who tells yourself that you’re so afraid of having to learn new things and start over as a novice or beginner that you’d rather stay miserable right where you’re at? 

Maybe you’re telling yourself this consciously or maybe unconsciously. Maybe you’re afraid of change. Change feels scary to us. For most of us, our brain changes mean we’re going to die. So it goes overboard in trying to protect us from the change. 

Now, maybe you’re someone who’s longing for seeking change in some aspect of your life. So you tell yourself I know what I want. I just don’t know how to do it differently. Or that you’re too old for this, or that you’re too young for this, or that you’re not prepared for this, or that you can’t handle this. Even if you become successful at doing the thing you’re longing to do, you will somehow mess it up. 

So that’s another way your brain tries to protect you from change even if you really, really, really want the change. You want a new job. You want to advance to the next level. You want to have another baby. You want to lose weight. You want to start dating. You want to move to a new city. Your brain tries to protect you because it thinks change means you’re going to die. Believe me, I get it. I want you to know that you are not alone. 

I’m not here to change your mind or convince you to believe anything different than what you believe. You’re totally free because of your free will to tell yourself anything you want to. Let me say that again. You are totally free because you have free will to tell yourself anything you want to. But know this. My son and I were just talking about this last night. Life is hard no matter what you do. Yes, I said that. Life is hard no matter what you do. 

Working a corporate job while parenting is hard. Staying at home to parent with no outside outlet of a corporate job, no outside boss is also hard. You get to choose your hard. Being a peaceful parent is hard. Being a dominant parent is hard. You get to choose your hard. Being overweight and out of shape is hard. Working out and changing your eating habits is also hard. You get to choose your hard because you have free will. Being in debt and living paycheck to paycheck is hard. Managing assets and a lot of money is hard. You get to choose your hard. 

So what I am here to tell you is that there’s actual science that proves that your brain sees change as a threat to your existence. Science, there’s actual science that shows this. So your brain does everything within its power to reject change. 

Now, this does not make change impossible. It just means that you have the perfect opportunity to pay attention to your thoughts, to recognize when they’re not serving you, and literally change the neural pathways in your brain to believe something new. The bad news is while you’re trying to do this, your brain is going to fight you. 

Now here’s what happens. Your brain is going to search for evidence to prove your beliefs are true. No matter what your beliefs are. It doesn’t matter what your beliefs are. Your brain is designed to search for evidence to prove your beliefs are true. 

Here’s the crazy thing. Whatever your beliefs are, your brain will find evidence to support your beliefs 100% of the time. 100%. This is called confirmation bias. If it can’t find evidence, your brain will make things up or twist evidence around to feel like it is proof that your belief is true. So if you believe something is hard to do, or you believe it’s a big deal, or that no matter what in the end you’re going to fail, your brain will seek and find evidence that will prove this to be true. Change will remain a big deal and hard and ultimately in the end unsuccessful. It’s guaranteed. 

This is the genesis of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe something, my mind looks for support. To support the belief, it finds it 100% of the time. My actions line up behind it, which reinforces the original belief. The magic then when you are wanting or being forced to change something is changing your beliefs so that your brain will seek and find all the evidence to prove the new belief is true. 

Let me say that again. The magic when you are wanting to change, the magic, the starting point is to recognize your old belief and change it to a new belief. So your brain will seek and find evidence to prove the new belief is true. 

In my membership community called The Hive, I give tools and suggestions every week to help parents do this. On one Hive call recently, I offered the suggestion that I’m about to share with you to one of the members, and she reported it’s already been paying off in dividends. What I told her is that the tools you used in your old circumstances to make you successful simply may not be the right tools to help you feel successful in your new circumstance. 

For instance, let’s say you used to be a successful corporate leader. So you develop tools, like time management, getting things done, prioritizing, being the first one to get in the office and the last one to leap, setting measurable goals for yourself and your team, being a cheerleader for the people on your team, helping in a productive way your team members understand when they got off course, setting up your employees for success, and inspiring them to do their jobs to the best of their ability. 

But now let’s say you’re transitioning to being a stay at home full time parent. Without realizing it, you’re trying to use the old corporate executive tools in your new role as a stay at home parent, and you don’t understand why you’re frustrated and why it’s not working. Well, you might be frustrated because you need a new set of tools, and what I call a new scope of work or a new job description because you’re doing a completely new job. 

So your new tools might look like taking regular breaks throughout the day to stay regulated because you can’t go in your office and shut the door for a couple hours because you have lots of little kids at home. So you might need to consciously take five ten-minute regular breaks throughout the day. Maybe your new tools look like washing the dishes only once a day instead of after every meal, like you’d been doing on the weekends.

Maybe your new tools include going to bed earlier and getting more sleep. Maybe your new tools require you to move away from the excellent time management skills, minimizing your daily to-do lists to free up lots of whitespace, lots of time to be fully present with your kids, and just play, which is not something that’s normally appearing on your corporate to-do list. Your old tools and practices that gave you an A plus at your job no longer apply to give you an A plus as a stay at home parent. 

You need different tools, or you need to tweak the tools you’ve perfected in the corporate world to serve you in your new position as the full time peaceful leader of your household. This might be true even if you’re not giving up your corporate job. It could be as simple as recognizing that as you transition from the daytime corporate job to the evening parent, your afternoon evening job, that different tools are required and success is measured differently. Sometimes being conscientious of how to make that transition into the different job descriptions could really cut down on the frustration and the negative self-talk inside your head. 

What I want to encourage you to do is just be open to doing things in a whole different way because the scope of work has completely changed. How you parent at home has a completely different job description than how you show up in your corporate job with its own job description. I think it’s very important as parents that we take time to look at our job description. 

What am I expecting of myself at home? What am I expecting with my kids? Do I push myself to constantly look at the task list at home? Do I find real satisfaction in constantly getting laundry done, the garden, cookies made, dishes put away, the dishwasher unloaded, cabinets organized. Because I get a lot of satisfaction and a lot of positive feedback in the corporate world when I’m checking things off the box and getting stuff done, but my parenting job description at home is completely different. 

My parenting job at home requires that at least 50% of the time I throw out the to-do list, just get on the floor, and play Legos with my kids. Get on the bikes and go for a ride when the weather’s great. Snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie on Friday nights after pizza without folding laundry. while I’m watching the movie.

I need to realize that that job description requires me to come and be fully present with my kids and limit the number of tasks that I’m getting done at home. Because I promise you, what your kids really want from you is to show up and be fully present with them. Even if it’s only for five or 10 minutes a day. Maybe at work one of your superpowers is the ability to multitask. It’s the ability to do many things at once. That’s not what’s gonna get you connected and cooperative with your kids. 

It’s not multitasking. It’s sitting down and watching a movie, going for a bike ride, cooking together, even if the kitchen is a complete disaster when you’re done. Throwing the baseball back and forth. Not being on your phone or iPad the entire time you’re at your kid’s soccer game. It’s coming and being fully present with your kids.

It’s throwing out the corporate job description and really thinking and rewriting the parenting at home job description. Acknowledging the transition that’s required each day as you move from your job description to your parenting job description. I have some suggestions for you on how to create that. 

First, I want to encourage you to write a press release, to literally sit down at the table. Especially if you’re struggling with this, the transition, or you’re taking on something new. Let’s say you’re a single parent for the first time ever. Let’s say you got a new job. Let’s say you’re no longer working in corporate America, and now you’re a full time stay at home parent. Let’s say suddenly you’re working at home rather than going into the office all day, or you’ve added a new baby to the household. Now you have three kids instead of two. 

What I really encourage you to do is to sit down with pen and paper and write a press release about the honorable new position you’ve been given as a stay at home parent, as a single parent, as a work at home parent, as the mother of three instead of the mother of two. Write a press release. List all your attributes and past successes that have won you this new position, and how you are projected to succeed triumphantly yet again in your new position. 

Next, after you’ve written the press release, write down your new job description. Maybe you’re a single parent, and you’re going to write out the job description of what I’m going to do when I have my kids, how I’m going to show up, what I’m going to ask of myself, and what I’m going to do when my kids are living spending time with the other parent.

I have done this many times when working with a single parent one on one. You would not believe how empowering it is to write out a job description of how you’re going to show up for your kids when they’re with you, the scope of work, and how you’re going to show up for your kids when they’re away from you with the other parent, right. 

So maybe it’s when my kids are with the other parent, I clean the house, I get the laundry done, I do food prep, I schedule appointments, I spend time with my friends, I self-care. I drop the guilt. So that when my kids come back from spending time with the other parent and they’re back in my home, we have healthy meals planned that we just heat up in the microwave. I’m not on the phone all the time. I’ve taken care of my self-care, and I’m fully present with my kids. You’d be amazed at how empowering writing out a job description is. 

I want you to write it as if it’s coming from a boss that you love to work for. Let’s say you added a new baby into the household. You just had your third child. You can write a job description of what it’s going to be like, of what the scope of work is like having a third child, one who is a brand new baby, while managing two other kids that are a little older with a little amount of sleep and lots of time tending to the newborn while making sure that there’s present activities with the other two kids.

Sitting down and writing this out could be completely transformative for you. Maybe all of a sudden you realize in the job description hey, I need to ask for a lot of help. I need to ask my co-parent to do all the food prepping and the shopping. I need to delegate a couple more tasks to some other people. I need to ask my mom to come in once a week and be with all three kids so I can take a shower and administer some self-care.

So all of a sudden you realize this. You’re on the phone with your mom asking her hey, can you come over every Wednesday morning and hold the baby and watch a movie with the other two kids while I make sure that I’m taking care of myself? I encourage you to list what is your work and what is not your work. What is in the scope of work and what is not in the scope of work? 

In your parenting job description, I strongly encourage you to make these three things a priority, and put them at the top of your list. Part of the parenting job description could or should, dare I say, be I will model what I expect from my children. I will take time every day to be fully present with them, even if it’s five, 10, 15 minutes, and I will practice regulating myself when I get triggered so that I can model that for them. 

If you focus on these three primary responsibilities as your “job” everything else will fall into place. If you’re more focused on planning birthday parties and doing dishes and laundry and making cookies and cleaning up the house and the spilled milk on the floor, I ask you to take a moment and pause. I ask you to really consider what are your top three priorities in this job of parenting. I ask you to consider moving laundry and cleaning up spilled milk off the floor to at least four or five on the list

Again, make number one model what you expect from your children every day. So if you expect your children to be on time at school, you’ve got to get up and be ready in the morning calmly and efficiently and be ready to go. You can’t be running around with your hair on fire every morning and expect your kids to be calm and motivated to get to school on time. So model what you expect from your kids. 

Number two, take time every day to be fully present. Don’t be on your phone all the time. Don’t multitask. Don’t be trying to tell them to get their shoes on while you’re in the kitchen doing dishes. If you’re not taking time every day to sit down and do something fun with them, play Legos, play tag, go for a walk, go to the gym, swim in the pool, reconsider making that a priority. I’m not talking about eight hours at Disneyland every day. Sometimes it’s five, 10, 15 minutes, but make an effort to give your children your undivided attention

Number three, practice regulating yourself when you get triggered so you can show your kids what that looks like. I cannot emphasize enough that your number one responsibility as a successful parent is to model what you expect from your children. If you want your children to be self-regulating then you darn well better model for them how to do that because kids don’t do what we say, they do what we do

Again, if you expect your kids to be on time in school, then you need to calmly be on time when it’s time to go. Not running out the door with your hair on fire day in and day out, and not being dysregulated while you’re ushering him into the car to get them on the way to school, and then surprised why they’re dysregulated. 

If you expect your kids to move away from reactive anger then do not engage in reactive anger yourself. Practice uncovering the underlying emotion you feel in the moment you feel dysregulated. Simply sit with that for a while, and then find what soothes you back to your higher brain. When you model this for your children, they too will learn how to sit with their so-called negative emotions and soothe themselves back into the higher brain instead of instantly reacting to uncomfortable feelings with anger. 

Now the third thing I want you to do to help you feel amazing about your job, about the changes, about the transition, is I want you to write down what an ideal day looks like for you. Again, whether you’re moving from a corporate job to a stay at home job, whether you’re keeping your corporate job and wanting to transition to parenting better, whether you’re suddenly a single parent, whether you’ve added a new baby into the home.

Regardless, I want you to sit down and write out what an ideal day looks like for you. Write it out. What are you wearing? What time do you get up? What do you do all day? How do you make the transition from corporate person or your day job to parenting at night? What do you want to feel? Do you want to feel at ease? Do you want to feel confident as you’re undressing from your work clothes, putting on your sweats, and thinking about what you’re going to make for dinner? 

Do you want to go into the kitchen and engage your kids for 10 minutes while you look at a menu and decide oh yeah, tonight’s the night I make hamburgers. Let me get those out and calmly make the burgers. Or do you want to be running around with your hair on fire constantly looking in the fridge? What do I have in here that I can scrounge together?

Maybe you’ve added that third baby in, and you want to write out what an ideal day looks like. While I’m sitting on the couch and breastfeeding the baby, my other two kids are sitting around near me, and we’re doing a puzzle, or we’re watching a movie together and talking about it. I have my phone put away, and I’m only looking at it occasionally. I’m asking for the help that I need. I’m asking my co-parent to do all the shopping and the laundry for the first three months and prep all the meals. 

Write out what an ideal day looks for you. Then, and here’s the secret to this tool, ask yourself how far off am I from that ideal day right now? Frustration is when there’s a gap between expectation and reality. The bigger the gap, the bigger the frustration. So then you ask yourself what new tools could you put in the toolbox that helps you get closer to the idea? Right? 

So maybe if it’s, again, I work all day and then I transition, maybe Sunday night I need to sit down and make out a menu. I need to make sure I have all the ingredients. This is what I do. So at five o’clock tonight when I go out into the kitchen, I look up at the post it note I have on the kitchen counter, and I say oh right. Tonight’s burgers and tater tots. I know exactly all this stuff to get out of the fridge and the cabinets to immediately go into autopilot of making burgers and tater tots, which is one of our family favorites. 

I’m not trying to make Chateaubriand on a Wednesday night starting at 6:30, and I’m not leaving it up to chance to see what ingredients I have in the fridge and hoping I have enough in there to scrounge something together. Then getting frustrated when I’m missing a lemon or some quinoa or only if I had a cucumber, I could make XYZ, right? 

So you want to ask yourself what new tools can I put in my toolbox to get closer to this ideal day that I want? Maybe it’s that you need to get up a half an hour earlier in the morning and get dressed and ready before any of your kids get up, even if you’re a stay at home mom. Maybe you need to have half an hour of journal and coffee time in the morning before any of your kids get up. That requires being honest with yourself and saying you need to go to bed earlier the night before. 

Maybe if it’s that you have a third baby at home, maybe it’s that you need some more toys in the living room, which has always made you crazy before. But you need some toys in the living room so that while you’re breastfeeding the baby, you can be playing with the other two kids, and they can be near you and you can be giving them attention at the exact same time that you’re breastfeeding the baby. 

Maybe if you’re a single parent for the first time ever, you need to get more realistic about what you can do while the kids are with you or what you want to do and what you want to do while the kids are with the other parent so that when they come back, you’re rested, hydrated, fed, ready to go. The laundry is done. The house is clean. You’re not trying to multitask while you’re with the kids and then feeling guilty when they go back to the other parent’s house. What new tools could you put in your toolbox now to help you get closer to this ideal day? 

Okay, so a little bit of an extra bonus here in addition to the practical tools. Do you want to know what the greatest tool is that you can put in your toolbox right now above all, bar none? I’m going to tell you. Are you ready? 

The most, most, most, most, most valuable and effective yet least expensive tool you can add to your parenting toolbox right now, drumroll please, is recognizing, managing, and changing your thoughts. Yes, let me say that again. Recognizing, managing, and changing the thoughts that don’t serve you. 

Because thoughts that we think over and over and over again become our beliefs. Then our brain’s primary job after keeping us alive is to prove our beliefs are true. So you have to give your brain a new assignment so it looks for evidence that you’re succeeding. The best way to do this is to cut the loop of negative thoughts in your head by externalizing them. This is so hard. I can’t do this. I’m not going to make it. I don’t know why I thought I could do this. This is so crazy. 

These negative thoughts get into what we call a thought loop. We want to interrupt the loop of negative thoughts. The best way to do this is to externalize them, to write them down, to tell someone. When you write out the new thought or you verbalize them to someone else, which is what we do inside The Hive, you interrupt that negative loop of thoughts that are not serving you. It’s hard to see them when they stay trapped inside your brain in a loop. It’s hard to see the blind spots. 

So if you’re not going to come join The Hive, which I don’t know why you wouldn’t. But if you’re not, what I want you to do is I want you to notice the thoughts that you keep thinking over and over and over again that do not serve you. Then I want you to write them down. Get them out on paper. Then say do I want to keep thinking this thought, or would I like to think something new? Like I’ve got this. I’m capable of this. 

I can do the transition from work day to parenting at home. I can change the job description with ease. I know that having a third child is going to be rough in the beginning, but I can get through it. I can stay calm and regulated. I am a single parent for the first time ever, but I know that I can do this, and I can set myself up to be calm and regulated with some new thoughts. 

You have to give your brain a new assignment through your thoughts, which become your beliefs, so that your brain looks for evidence that you’re succeeding. The best way to do this is to cut the loop of negative thoughts in your head by externalizing them. Write them down. When you do this, your new thoughts will interrupt the negative loop of thoughts that are not serving you. It is important to also write down your new thoughts so that you work towards believing them. You have to believe they are just as true, just as possible as the negative thoughts, or it won’t work. 

If you believe you’re not going to be able to handle being a single parent, you’ve got to come up with a new thought. I can do this. It might be hard in the beginning or I’m scared, but I can still do this. Bravery is being afraid and doing it anyway.

Now, what I don’t want you to do is try to write down unicorn and rainbow thoughts that you wish were true, but don’t really believe them. That won’t work. You have to write down thoughts that are equally as true as the negative ones. So let’s say you’ve never worked out before. You’re not going to suddenly say hey, I can do a triathlon. 

Because if you’ve never worked out before, you’re not going to be able to do a triathlon out of the gate. That’s a unicorn rainbow thought. Your mind is going to reject it because it’s going to know it’s BS, and it’s not going to believe it. It’s not even going to look for any evidence to prove it’s true. But you might say I am someone who’s committed to working out for 10 minutes twice a week. Your brain will start to look for evidence that’s true. 

So another idea is one thought you could use to break the cycle of fearful, resentful, uncertain, negative thoughts when it comes to life’s transitions. I’ve just been promoted to this new level or this new position of authority because I’ve proven my abilities to be successful. This is the greatest promotion I could ever get. 

So I’ve just been promoted to a new single parent because of my abilities. It’s the greatest promotion because during the time I have with my kids, I’m completely in charge of parenting. I’ve just been promoted to a third child because I’ve successfully gotten the other two kids to this point. This is the greatest promotion I could ever get. I’ve been promoted to two jobs where I work all day and then I come home and I peacefully parent my children because I’ve proven that I can be successful. Having two jobs that I love is the best promotion I could ever get. 

Then you can read this every morning as you start your day. You can read the press release. You can read your job description. You can read what your ideal day looks like, and a shortlist of new thoughts that you can cling to and repeat to yourself as a monitor all day long. I guarantee this will change your life. Your mind looks for evidence to prove your thoughts are true. It finds it 100% of the time. 

So whatever transition you’re struggling with right now, getting the kids to school on time, having the third baby, being a single parent, transitioning to a stay at home parent, juggling the transition from working an exhausting job to getting home and parenting your two little kids. Whatever you’re struggling with, if you want it to be easier, you want to delight in the transition, you’ve got to examine your thoughts. Because your thoughts create your beliefs, and your mind looks for evidence to prove your beliefs are true. It finds it 100% of the time. 

So I hope you love this episode as much as I do. I love talking about this. I love thinking about it. I love writing out my ideal day. I do that exercise once a quarter. One time, every single quarter, I sit down and I write out what an ideal day for me would be like. Then I look at how close or how far away am I to that, and what do I need to do to move closer to it? I’ve been doing this for years. It is an absolute game changer. 

All right. Now listen when it gets to externalizing your thoughts. If that exercise really speaks to you, come join The Hive. If this work really speaks to you, and you’re like wow. This is like next level stuff, and I could gobble this up all day. Or maybe you feel like a newbie, and you’re like what? I want to know more about this. I want to personally invite you, yes you, to come join my membership called The Hive. 

You will find all the details at thehivecoaching.com. There’s absolutely no obligation. You can cancel at any time. You can come and dip your toe in the water. All you need to do is go to thehivecoaching.com and sign up. You get three chances each and every week to come and get live coaching from me on any topic you want to ask me. You, your kids, your parenting, your co-parenting, how to get on the same page, how to work through your dominant parent, how to move away from permissive parenting, how to set limits for your kids, how to stay more regulated in the transition, how to be more present with your children.

Whatever you want to ask me, you get three times each week live to come and ask me a question. Can’t make the live calls? No problem at all. You just listen to the recording. After every call, we send you notes, timestamped and notes of each coaching topic. You can scroll through and find topics that apply to you and jump ahead to the call and listen. It’s the most amazing place in the entire world. I would love, love, love, love for you to be a part of it. It is the path to peaceful parenting.

So if this speaks to you in any way, go on over to thehivecoaching.com and give it a shot. I’ll see you inside The Hive. All right everybody. I absolutely loved this topic. I hope you loved it as much as I did. Until we meet again, I’m wishing you peaceful parenting. 

Thank you so much for listening today. I want to personally invite you to head over to thepeacefulparent.com/welcome and sign up for my free peaceful parenting minicourse. You’ll find everything you need to get started on the path to peaceful parenting just waiting for you over there at www.thepeacefulparent.com/welcome. I can’t wait for you to get started. 

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com. See you soon. 


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Lisa Smith

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